As the subject says I have just done my second pregnancy test of the day and it is positive. I did the first one this afternoon and was positive but I couldn’t believe it, I know very silly, and have done a second one having the same result. So I guess that I am pregnant. I do not dare to tell my partner as two and a half years ago I had an ectopic pregnancy which resulted on my tube bursting and having an emergency operation to have it removed.
I can still remember how hard it was last time for both of us, weeks of uncertainty until it was confirmed, very sad. We never thought that I would get pregnant again and we haven’t used anything as we tried for a while after the ectopic pregnancy without much luck. Now I am very confused. I don’t know how I feel or even how to tell my partner. He struggled a lot last time and I don’t think he would be able to cope with another failed pregnancy. He still believes that he almost killed me even though it was not his fault that my body didn’t work properly. I had two miscarriages before the ectopic so not very positive experience to be honest.
I don’t know what to do. I am very scared that it will be a disaster again and a part of me wishes that I wouldn’t be pregnant although another part of me wishes that it can work this time and we can have a baby that we have been years waiting for.
Has anyone had mixed feelings like these ones? What did you do?
After an ectopic pregnancy, finding we are pregnant again can be a mix of emotions and I can completely understand your feeling nervous. It is perfectly normal to feel scared after the ordeal you have endured. I was also very worried when I found out I was pregnant again. My mind started racing and I was only really able to relax to some degree after my early scan. It is a nerve-wracking time and you have a friend here who understands how you are feeling.
I understand how difficult it is sharing the news with partners. My partner was also very concerned about my health following our ectopic pregnancy so telling him I was pregnant again was such a worry however, I personally feel that I couldn’t have gone through the weeks waiting for the scan without him.
It is important to have an early scan and we advise you contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for the early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away. If you are not successful getting an appointment with your local EPU, contact your GP as soon as possible who can refer you.
It maybe of some comfort to know that the chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.
Thinking of you over the coming weeks,
Sending much love,
Karen x
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Thank you Karen for your comments. I have lots of things to think about and one of them is to talk with my partner. I know I need to call my EPU but just the thought scares me at the moment. I will have two weeks to wait before I can have a scan. I am not sure if I could cope again going every two days for blood tests as I found it very hard the first time round. I may wait a few days before calling. First I need to talk with my partner.