I'm new

Who's Who
1

Hey everyone,

I didn’t know if I’d post or not but here I am. I love to over-share.

I’m new here. I had surgery this time last week and lost my right tube. It was a pregnancy of unknown location, I had three scans internal and external but they couldn’t find it. Originally I was diagnosed with a misdcarriage and I began processing that but as the hormone level wouldn’t drop, it just seemed to be a nightmare that didn’t end, and here we are. Hopefully at the end of the nightmare and the begining of the recovery.

I went along to have the injection but my HCG result crept above the allowed amount and I had to stay in and have the surgery the following day. It all happened so fast so I knew it must have been serious. Everyone was asking about my pain in the hospital but I didn’t have any. I think I must have been Lucky. I know that if it had ruptured I’d have been fighting for my life and I feel for those who have experienced the pain. I know I am lucky to be alive but I don’t feel it.

I can say that a week after the operation I have started to feel better physically. Baths have been helping and I’ve been doing a little more around the house and have been going for short walks with my partner.

As soon as I stopped being able to focus on the physical, the emotional has taken over and I’ve been really tearful. I feel stupid for thinking I could do this, and that I have let everyone down. Deep down I know it’s not the case but when I feel low it’s all I can see.

Reading other people’s stories really has helped me to feel less alone and I’m grateful for this forum.

I feel like this has changed everything and I’m not the same and I never will be. I can’t see a way out of that feeling. But I know that it’s early days. I just have to get the balance right between rest and keeping busy.

I have booked for some councelling next week which will be two weeks after the operation. I want to get on top of this as it’s november and the cold months have potential to be especially cold and dark.

Just to say I see you and I feel you. We are brave and strong but we don’t feel that right now. Massive love and hugs wherever you are. This has to get easier. Xxxx

2

Hi Penny11,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I’m glad you have found these boards, as they are a safe space for those of us experiencing the traumas of ectopic pregnancy and loss. I am so sorry you have had to endure one. It is very natural to feel that the physical recovery comes before the emotional one. It is something that I experienced, and I remember feeling similarly, that everything had changed.

Being in the early stages of recovery, your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with. Following an ectopic pregnancy can be a very confusing time and brings up so many emotions which we may not have expected. You have suffered physical and emotional trauma, and right now, it is so important to look after yourself.

It’s important to remember that there is nothing you did to cause or could have done to stop an ectopic pregnancy. Every woman is unique, we all process it in different ways. I found that journaling was a way for me to get my thoughts onto paper, helping me to make sense of my emotions and to share them with friends and family. Some days are better and some days are harder. Over time, the initial feelings may fade, but we don’t forget. Your well-being is the most important thing right now.

Thank you for sharing your experience, you are among friends here who understand what you have been through and how you are feeling and we will be here for as long as you need,

With good wishes,

Michele

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team

3

Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply, Michele.

I wondered if I might get a notification when I had a reply and when I didnt I went in to check and your lovely message was waiting for me.

I think I would benefit from journaling and think I will make a start this weekend. I feel better today than earlier this week so I think it’s going to be a process of ups and downs for a while.

Xxx