So, here I am 40 in a few months and desperate for a baby!! We have a beautiful daughter who came along unplanned with no trying!! When we decided to give her a sibling I had my first ectopic at 8 weeks and lost my tube, had to have emergency surgery and was super traumatic. After another three years we finally deciyto try again, this ended in HCG test every 48 hours for two weeks and a pregnancy they couldn’t find, treatment eventually was metho. I am booked for a HyCosy and further tests in a few weeks time. Am I doing the right thing trying again??
Dear Cunners99,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
I remember the strong desire to have a baby after my loss and the decision to try again was one of the hardest decisions we had ever made.
Wanting to try again leaves us with a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but in term we learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process, often weeks or months ahead.
In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.
I would recommend talking to a fertility specialist and of course making the decision as a family.
Sending much love,
Karen x
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Thank you for your response. I had my HyCosy yesterday and am reeling from the outcome that my remaining tube is completely blocked. After my first ectopic I had surgery to check that tube and was told to go ahead and get pregnant as the tube appeared completely healthy. Hence why we eventually tried again, though if my tube was blocked already how did I actually get pregnant then?? The nurse says our only option is IVF - not sure I can cope with that mental roller coaster. We see the consultant on February 8th. Feeling a bit numb currently!! Not sure what to do. Life sucks sometimes.
This post is so near and dear to my heart for so many reasons. Karen, your words really are so true.
It often doesn’t make sense how the tube can be clear and then not - my doctor explained to me that often scar tissue can develop or move over time, often from one tube to another. There could be other reasons for the scar tissue that we don’t even know about or explain. Not all is lost - I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now but my best friend had an ectopic pregnancy and tube removal, only to find out later that her remaining tube had blockages. They tried IVF and the second time around they conceived and are expecting their beautiful baby boy this May. I really hope their story will give you some faith for yourself. They had been trying for almost 10 years. I, too, had an ectopic but luckily we were able to save my tube using mtx. The ultrasound confirmed that I ovulated from my “good” tube so there is still the fear there that the one we “saved” might still have some problems. We often don’t know and can’t explain it. Just try your best to keep forging on with the knowledge you have. You can, and will, get through it! Sending love and prayers! xx