Hey I’m Jo just turned 39 and been ttc for over a year. In Nov I had some spotting, which is odd for me so took a hpt and got a lovely BFP. Sadly the bleeding continued and I believed I had had a miscarriage. To cut a long story short after a A&E admission due to the bleeding starting again they found out my HCG was still rising. I had the injection the Friday before Xmas and was rushed into hospital the Wednesday after Xmas. I had to have open surgery because of the amount of blood and I lost my right tube. I know it’s early days but how long did people take to heal. I’m unsure if I want to keep on trying, I’m the wrong side of 35 and my Drs have told me they won’t refer us on due to my weight so I really can’t see the point. I’ve told my parent he is free to leave as I can’t give him the child he desperately wants. I try to not think about it but sometimes I wish I had just bled out on the table.
Hello
Please go to the main board and read my post. Emkr18. Ectopic pregnancy.
Hopefully you will find some info your looking for on there.
Don’t give up hope no one knows what is around the corner for us.
I really hope you don’t mean what you said at the end. There is a number on here you can ring and speak to somebody.
Emily
Thanks for the reply, after I wrote my message I read though the board which I found useful.
I was very sad last night, In fact the nights are the harestest my brain just spins off to a very dark place. I think what I ment to say was that I just don’t want to have to deal with what has happened to me. I just want it to have never happened. I think this is why I’m rushing myself physically so it looks like everything is ok so I can pretend I’m emotionally ok and that nothing happened. I just want to tuck it away under the carpet never to speak about it again.
Dear JoUp,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn’t our fault.
It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We generally feel a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget, but we learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process - might be weeks or months ahead.
In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes. Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.
I wish I could give more precise information about ttc, but as I do not have access to your and your partner’s medical records, it is difficult for me to provide specific details. Generally, we and many healthcare professionals advise keeping a healthy balanced diet, maintaining a healthy weight and abstaining from alcohol and smoking.
Regardless of what your Dr has currently said, we recommend women over 35 should seek advice after 6 months. You could seek advice from another Dr.
Be kind to yourself, allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally.
We are here for you for as long as you need.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.