Finding it hard

My journey has been so hard in such a short period of time, I can’t fully take in what happened. I have two children (9&7) and count myself very lucky especially when I read others posts. But I wanted to share my experience and a poem which I wrote. I felt it helped me to write.

I had my children fairly young, I didn’t plan for anymore but deep down I knew I would like another. Saturday 11th Nov (ironically remembrance day) I discovered I was pregnant. I had had some bleeding leading up to the day assuming it was my period however it just wasn’t right therefore I took the test. I then put it down to embedding, the day I took the test the bleeding had stopped. Tue 14th I had some bleeding again, I was advised to ring 111 who told me to go to A&E, I was getting a bit of pain on the left hand side but thought nothing of it. They booked me an apt for EPAU the next day. I went the following morning at 11am still thinking it was all a fuss because the bleeding had stopped again. They spoke about what they need to do etc. They said they would do an internal scan, this was when the world stopped spinning and I wanted to jump straight off. As you have all gone through it I don’t need to explain the details, but by 5.30pm I was woken from surgery crying for the loss of my child.

I was fortunate enough that I hadn’t ruptured but because what they found was so small they couldn’t confirm for definite that it was my baby, so the tube and “mass” was sent for testing. I had a week of the unknown but deep down I knew he/she had gone. Today they confirmed my fears through a blood test. It was and still is such a lot to take in and I have felt so many different emotions these past 7 days that I feel I might burst. At times I want to curl up into a ball and hide away. Then I look at my girl and boy and thank my lucky stars I have them. Like I said earlier I wrote my feelings into a poem and if these words can resonate with any of you and help I hope they do. I know they are my personal thoughts but comfort can be found in anything whether it be a song, a message or just a plain old hug its something.

My precious baby

Another little Swaby

I knew from the minute I took the test

That you would fill my heart with joy

Another little girl or a boy.

In my dreams I could see your face

But unfortunately that wasn’t to be the case

You couldn’t been seen

No bigger then a bean

You weren’t in the right place

You wouldn’t have survived in that space.

The words ran into one

Wondering what I had done that was so wrong

Only 5 days of knowing you

My precious little baby boo.

I thought the doctors were insane

Nothing could prepare me for the sadness and pain

But then they gave me some hope

In a way it helped me to cope.

I spent a week of praying

Trying to mend my body and hoping you were staying

But today I was told what I knew I deep down

The tears flowed I thought I would drown.

You were in the tube which they took to see

Now I know they have taken you away from me.

The scars will always be there

Who sees them I don’t care!

They are proof that you were real

You were mine

My little star waiting to shine.

Gan Gan and Great Grandma will take care of you

I know they are there

You will be in there care.

I will look to stars

You will be in my sight

I will blow you a kiss

And I will whisper the words goodnight.

Forever in my heart I will hold you tight.

Lots of Love Mammy

I send my love to you all and hope the best for you xx

Beautiful poem xx

Dear Charles2604,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss.

When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with the a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.

You have written such a beautiful and heartfelt poem, thank you so much for sharing with us.

There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn’t our fault.

We are all here for you for as long as you need.

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x


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Beautiful poem thank you for sharing xx

Beautiful xxx

Beautiful x