Etopic Pregnancy Poem

Main Board
1

Never Be Apart

Overjoyed, happy, I was at my peak,

Watching as time passed week by week,

The wonderful moments i carried you,

But not in my womb that’s not where you grew,

For 9 long weeks my body miscarried,

A painful and strenuous experience indeed,

And even though I’ve felt so low,

I know you are a part of my rainbow,

Leaving my body but not my heart,

That’s why you and I will never be apart,

I now share my story not for sympathy,

But for etopic pregnancy awareness and for empathy,

Honouring the women who have lived through this,

Who will never be able to give their baby a hug or kiss.

I thought I’d share a poem I wrote today…just want to share my love and support for everyone going though this. :blush:

2

This made me cry! Great poem, thank you for sharing xxx

3

Thank you, :relieved: I’m sitting waiting for my phone to ring, to hear my latest HCG results from the hospital, it was 56 last week, still bleeding and in pain and I just wanted to capture how I was feeling.

4

Dear chaoticblues,

Your poem is just beautiful, so heartfelt and I’m sure will resonate with many people on these boards.

Thank you so much for sharing,

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team

5

Chaotic blues, I hope you got a good drop on your HCG levels FRIDAY! Sending love!

I still get pain now I’m afraid and it’s been 3 weeks ish since I had a negative pregnancy test. Although the bleeding does stop! :slight_smile:

Xxx

6

Chaotic Blues thank you for your lovely poem, it made me cry! I hope that since you wrote this poem things are starting to look up for you. I am 2 weeks post methotrexate for an ectopic in my right tube, my first pregnancy and finding out I was pregnant was the happiest day of my life, very short lived however. Hoping that it gets easier x

7

Hey all, when I wrote my poem it was 9 weeks into my pregnancy loss, I finally stopped bleeding 12 weeks in total, so i updated my poem. My hcg got to 16, was discharged from the hospital, couple weeks later I think I ovulated and 2 weeks after got my first period:

Overjoyed, happy, I was at my peak,

Watching as time passed week by week,

The wonderful moments i carried you,

But not in my womb that’s not where you grew,

Hours and hours of my left side in pain,

There was only loss and no more gain,

For 12 long weeks my body miscarried,

A painful and strenuous experience indeed,

And even though I’ve felt so low,

I know you are a part of my rainbow,

Leaving my body but not my heart,

That’s why you and I will never be apart,

I now share my story not for sympathy,

But for etopic pregnancy awareness and for empathy,

Honouring the women who have lived through this,

Who will never be able to give their baby, a hug or a kiss.

8

natashaxox:
Chaotic Blues thank you for your lovely poem, it made me cry! I hope that since you wrote this poem things are starting to look up for you. I am 2 weeks post methotrexate for an ectopic in my right tube, my first pregnancy and finding out I was pregnant was the happiest day of my life, very short lived however. Hoping that it gets easier x

Thank you, :pray:that’s really sweet to hear.:blush: I just really needed something real that i could look at and encapsulate what happened. For me it was a poem. I’m the same, it was my first pregnancy too, I remember being very shocked and very happy, it was very short lived too, 5 and half weeks started having pains, then I was technically pregnant for like 4 months, 3 months losing the baby. I’m trying again this month hopefully, just 6 weeks after my pregnancy loss ended, heard youre more fertile, I’ve decided if it happens again especially in my left tube to have the surgery not methotrexate just because there’s clearly an issue there plus the ongoing pain was a lot.

I hope the methotrexate helps you get your body back to normal soon. Emotionally and physically it’s such a hard time. In time I’m sure it will get easier. Just know you are not alone. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

9

I’m so sorry to hear your story and what has happened to you. I am wishing you ALLLL THE BEST with trying again this month!! I hadn’t heard about being more fertile following this, I’m really hoping that’s the case. It took me and my fiancé 2 years to become pregnant and I’m so fearful that it may take another 2 years to conceive again.

I don’t blame you for wanting to have it removed if it happens again. I asked the nurse if there are any kind of checks they can do after an ectopic treated with methotrexate to check the tube is clear but she said no which is not ideal because you just want to know everything is ok and working ok.

I have another blood test tomorrow my levels were 20 last week so I am hoping they will have dropped enough tomorrow that I can be discharged and start to get my life back together as much as I can!

Hope you get some good news soon! Xx

10

natashaxox:
I’m so sorry to hear your story and what has happened to you. I am wishing you ALLLL THE BEST with trying again this month!! I hadn’t heard about being more fertile following this, I’m really hoping that’s the case. It took me and my fiancé 2 years to become pregnant and I’m so fearful that it may take another 2 years to conceive again.

I don’t blame you for wanting to have it removed if it happens again. I asked the nurse if there are any kind of checks they can do after an ectopic treated with methotrexate to check the tube is clear but she said no which is not ideal because you just want to know everything is ok and working ok.

I have another blood test tomorrow my levels were 20 last week so I am hoping they will have dropped enough tomorrow that I can be discharged and start to get my life back together as much as I can!

Hope you get some good news soon! Xx

It must have been so hard to see the positive and then be told the pregnancy was etopic after 2 years of trying to conceive. I guess the one positive is you know you can conceive naturally, that was my take away from my experience. I have many fibroids and of course read the worst case scenarios but when I got pregnant it was like they’re clearly not a problem. Hope you were discharged.

I feel like there’s so much doctors don’t know about early pregnancy. They only seem to really only care 20 weeks and over. That was my experience and I realised all we can do is have faith in our bodies.

I love InfertilityTV, it’s a channel on YouTube and they do quick 2 to 6 minute videos on topics regarding fertility. The main doctor did a video answering should you wait to conceive after a pregnancy loss, he said no, he said studies show if you try to conceive the first 3 months you are more likely to conceive than if you wait longer. Obviously have to wait until 3 months after methotrexate injection. I bled 10 weeks post injection, then I waited until my second cycle to try again. I would say only try if you emotionally feel up to it. With me my pregnancy loss went on and on and on so most of grieving was during that period hence the poem. So I was ready to try again.

I am PUPO. Pregnant until proven otherwise. Will find out next week. Obviously anxious not just about the pregnant test but also if baby is in the right place. Like most women in our shoes.

2 years is a long time but never lose hope, your body has told you it can get pregnant so try to keep the faith and believe in your body.

11

Hi have you got any update on your pregnancy ? Fingers are crossed for you xx

12

Thanks for asking.

It was a negative. So it’s looking like i will try again next month.