Ectopic

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I really need to talk to day having a really hard day and tried to talk to someone close to me and I got told “life goes on” people just don’t understand how I feel or how it’s effected me ave never really wrote anything or told anyone things as I am a closed book but recently I can’t keep anything in anymore I can’t bottle things up anymore as it’s over flowing

I found out I was having an ectopic in October and I felt so alone as my partner couldn’t get to me and they wouldn’t let him on ward when he did which in reality made in distant and he still doesn’t have the words to talk to me and am trying to support him as much as I can

We’ll I thought I was ready to go back to work so went today to do a 10 hour shift we’ll I was so wrong I broke down so many times and had to keep going into the staff room and felt like everyone was judging me for been upset even though I felt so proud of myself as I knew it would be difficult to go back but I felt like I least I had accomplished staying a full day even though I had broken down a lot

I honestly feel like am having a whirl wind of emotions and don’t actually know how am really feeling I feel like I have to be strong and not show anyone how am really feeling especially my 4 year old daughter as she has been so emotional as it is knowing mummy is poorly but she doesn’t understand why and I honestly trying to get back to my usual self but I feel stuck and alone and don’t even know how to get back to myself Also still in pain and started bleeding again but it isn’t like my usual period I don’t know if this is normal or not

Sorry for rambling on

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Dear Sophie,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss.I

This may be your period starting as periods following treatment for ectopic pregnancy can be lighter, heavier, shorter or longer than you were used too. There is no set pattern and they often settle down after 3-4 months. Although I do not wish to alarm you, as you have mentioned different or unexpected bleeding, if there is any chance of pre g please seek urgent medical advice.

Although well-meaning, I also found that my friends and family said things that hurt and didn’t truly understand how I was feeling. Like you I reached out on these boards. I found comfort in reading other people’s posts and it made me feel less alone. These boards are a safe place for you to open up or vent. You are amongst friends who understand and you can lean on us for as long as you need.

Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy can be a traumatic event. You have to deal with the diagnosis of a possible life threatening emergency, the treatment and loss of your baby. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense. It can take people up to 3 months to even begin to process traumas such as this, so be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve and heal both physically and emotionally.

We at the Trust, believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We also have support services, we can exchange emails as well as support on this forum. We also have telephone support and offer virtual group sessions. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

We have information below on how to contact us and on our website about finding counselling services and we have more information here: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/

Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team

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Thank you for your quick response it really means a lot and it really helps ,

I don’t think they understand as they haven’t been through anything like it I get they are trying to be supportive but at the same time it isn’t quite helping and I know it’s gonna take time but I just want to feel me again and happy and I think I definitely need to vent ave tried to research a lot online but always seems like there is nothing much to say after a ectopic and nothing much after what will happen or how it effects people so reading these forums really have helped making me feel that am not alone

I never realised it can take up to 3 months and I feel like ave been beating myself and pushing myself far to quickly

Thank you knowing that support out there and if I need to vent or talk think will really help me x

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Just remember that you have the right to experience these emotions and grief. I understand that this is difficult, but try to turn to all the good things that you already have, for example, your daughter. Take care of yourself.