Hi girlies,
Some of you probably will remember me as I was quite active on these forums. I suffered ectopic ( tube removed) followed by 1mmc and 2 chemicals.
I’ve seen my consultant yesterday and he wants me to try clomid for a few cycles to make ovulation stronger even though I ovulate. And as soon as get bfp start progesterone.
I am nervous about this. Anyone had any experience with this?
Hi Gitast,
I remember you, not sure if you’ll remember me, I’ve had three ectopics resulting in the loss of both my tubes, the last one being March last year. I’ve just had a round of IVF which unfortunately wasn’t successful, so struggling to come to terms with that. I don’t have any experience with clomid, but I did have progesterone pessaries (inserted vaginally) following the embryo transfer. I took 2 pessaries 3 times a day, so it wasn’t pleasant, but it wasn’t the worst thing I’ve had during this whole TTC journey. Will yours be pessaries?
I wish you all the luck with the clomid, when do you start?
Hi oneday, I do remember you well. Oh my goodness what a journey we are going through! I’m so sorry to hear your ivf wasn’t successful. Please don’t give up. I know the desperation the pain and fear about the future so can sympathise with you.
Even if I still got one tube and still mange to get pregnant it doesn’t give me any comfort at this stage. It seems like a black cloud is above my head and not moving.
We were talking about ivf possibility too. I just so fed up waiting. What holds me back is the cost and the fact that I miscarry every time I get pregnant. Did you get if funded or had to pay for it? I heard that for a lot of people it doesn’t work first time and they need to do few attempts to get a baby. I’m sure you will get there. It can’t be that we will end up without rainbow little ones.
I’m here for you if you need a chat. I know how you feel. Be strong girl! Xxxx
Thank you so much for your reassurance and comforting words, I really hope you are right. I always knew I would be extremely lucky for it to work first time around, so I’ve actually been surprised how disappointed I’ve been that it didn’t work. It’s just another hurdle in the road, I had hoped my luck would be changing, but obviously not. It’s so challenging how there is no guarantee that it will work, isn’t it. I often wish I could fast forward into the future and see how this ends. Will I be lucky enough to have a baby, or will I ever just have one child (we are very blessed to have a 9yo son)?
This cycle was privately funded, we were very fortunate to have help from family because we couldn’t have afforded it. We are eligible for public funding in November (it could still be moved forward) and that involves two cycles. We have a frozen embryo from this cycle, but I really don’t feel ready for that yet, I need to get back in physical shape, and my husband needs time to deal with all the grief and stress from the last few years because. He has been a brilliant support for me, but he hasn’t really taken care of himself and he’s been bottling a lot of it up.
Oh I really wish it wasn’t this hard!! How are you doing? Have you started the clomid? xxx
Morning ladies, I don’t have any experience with clomid but wanted to show my support to you gita! Hope it all goes well.
One day I’m sorry to hear your first round of IVF was unsuccessful, I think you’re right to allow your body time to heal and recover before looking to complete a FET.
We are just in our admin month of our first IVF cycle. Due to start early March. We are having IVF with ICSI due to our low sperm count. I know that first rounds are often more experimental to see how our bodies react. So many emotions in my home at the moment.
Wishing you both peaceful days and hoping we all have our rainbow babies one day
Xx
Hi ladies,
It is lovely to see your names popping up again. Though of course it would be lots better if you all had some good news.
Sorry to hear things haven’t worked out with your Ivf yet oneday. And best of luck with yours countryside. Keep positive though you are both being super brave and strong.
Gitast I have just been to follow up appointment after miscarriage in Dec. It has felt like bit of a waste of time, all test results came back normal which l knew in Oct. They are just saying try again and take aspirin once I know I am pregnant, even though no clotting disorder detected in tests. So no mention of clomid or progesterone. Ivf has been mentioned, I can get a referal if I want, but they seemed to think we should just keep on trying as I have fallen pregnant 5 times in less than 2years. The other thing they have mentioned is getting a referral to Liverpool Women’s hospital recurrent miscarriage clinic… Do any of you have experience of this? To be honest I don’t know what to do, at the moment I am very tired of the whole thing, I have been feeling much better in myself doing what I enjoy and challenging myself, planning adventures and trying to switch off the baby thing a little it was all getting too much. Today has put me back to the less motivated person I was last year, hopefully I will snap out of it again tomorrow. The thought of going to Liverpool from North Wales to have the same conversation as today and same outcome just fills me with dread.
Hi kj,
Sorry to hear you had a difficult day yesterday. i can imagine that kind of discussion would put you back emotionally, if fact I don’t need to imagine, although different I had similar feelings of being put back by others. But I know you are strong and resilient and you can heal and move on from this. We are all here for you. I’m sorry but I can’t advise about the Liverpool women’s hospital. Not sure the wait times for appointment there is, but may be worth asking for an appointment and then making up your mind, to keep your options open, but not having a delay if you decide that you wanted to see them in a month or so and then had to wait for the referral and appointment. You can always cancel it if you don’t want to go. I can u see stand your anxiety, I wonder if the clinic there would be able to give more specific advice.
Sorry I can’t be of more help. Hope you are feeling better today. Sending you healing hugs and positive thoughts xx
Hi girls,
Kj and countrysidecrazy how lovely to hear from you both again. Of course would be great if it was good news but we are all on a way there.
One day, I know how you feel. But look at positive side. You have nice embryos frozen and it does work for lots of people. Not that many successful first time and might take few times but with positive thinking and not losing hope everything is possible. I will keep you in my thoughts and please update me. I’m always here for a chat.
Countrysidecrazy how lovely to know that things little by little moving forward. Ivf isn’t easy experience with all the stress and waiting but the possibility of a baby in the end of it so worth it. You waited so long and I truly believe you will get there. Can’t wait to hear good news from you 
Kj, in so many ways I feel that our ttc journey have lots of similarities. Getting pregnant easy but losing our little ones. Sometimes I feel very low and wonder if it’s worse not to get pregnant or lose it? It’s so tuff. I’ve done lots of research and I can give you some details of my progress.
As you know all nhs tests came back normal. I haven’t got karyotyping done as they only do it now if there’s chromosomal abnormality with a baby. Problem I have I don’t get that far to have something for testing.
I am still under nhs consultant as I do a lot of research and push him to offer me treatment and tests.
My cycle is on a longer than usual,32 days. It might be that my eggs get a little bit older and ovulation isn’t strong enough. That’s the reason we are trying clomid. It should help increase progesterone too.
If I’ll get pregnant and it will fail again the last resource is NK cell testing. Have you heard about it? It’s a new study run by professor Quenby in Coventry hospital. It’s not covered by nhs. Test is £360. They give you treatment plan even if you don’t have high NK cells. They look in to your history and decide what treatment can help. I have no info about Liverpool hospital. My next step will be requesting referral to Coventry or st Mary’s hospital in London. Also heard that a new reaccurent miscarriage study clinic will be opening somewhere near Birmingham in April. I think all of it worth having a look. Let me know how you will get on hun. Xxx
Things seems to be in a way a little regarding starting clomid. I will be away in March for a week when I should ovulate so no point starting this month. In April we are away on holiday to Gambia and have to take malaria tablets to stay safe there. We rushed into booking it without getting all the info first. So the earliest I can start clomid and ttc will be in May. Awww it feels like everything is against me having a baby 
xxx
I know it must be disappointing to wait for your may cycle Gita, but maybe a holiday first will mean you are able to relax and recharge before starting, meaning your body and mind will be in a much better place. How wonderful to have a trip to Gambia booked, I’ve never been but it’s definitely on my list for the future.
Thank you for all your positive thoughts. I have a fear of needles, which makes the whole IVF process a lot more daunting. We went to the clinic the other day to learn about the drugs and be taught how to inject. My lovely husband has offered to do the injections if I can’t, but I’m not sure I want to put him in that position, que sleepless nights with me wondering if I can self inject!! I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m going to try my hardest to do it myself and see what happens.
Xx
You’re right countrysidecrazy, break from ttc will do me good. I’m so fed up with worrying about not having a baby, not getting pregnant, miscarriages, ectopic fear. Will be so nice to be normal for a couple of months.
I think you will be ok with injections. I have a fear of needles too and hate them. But all for the good cause. I started acupuncture few months ago. Thought I will faint first time and now used to it and even enjoy it. I think you mentioned before that you also get acupuncture done? Does it help you at all? My partner says that he can tell the difference in how calm I am for a few days after it. Also heard that it is recommended for the ivf!
Ladies, so so lovely to see all your names appear again! Have missed you 
I’m so pleased to hear that you’re all getting the right support and healthcare, even though it does sound gruelling. Countryside, i get your worries about self-injecting, but just keep thinking of where it may take you. Hang in there!
I’ve had a really difficult couple of months… I’ve had to step back from the forum for a while as my old anxiety symptoms worsened again and the whole ttc thing was becoming too much of an obsession. Thankfully I recognised I was struggling and got help from my GP, who prescribed antidepressants and referred me for counselling. So I start to begin feeling like my old self again then yesterday, realised I was late and Bam! Bfp. So now obviously I’m scared, of another ep or another mc, but trying my best to hold things together. My first thought was to look you all up and here you are. I have my fingers crossed as much for you all as for myself.
Much love xxx
Hi Countrysidecrazy, KJ & Redfairy, it is so great to hear from you all again, I’ve been wondering how you are getting on. Sorry you’re still having a hard time on the TTC journey. Hi Gitast!
KJ, sorry the appointment felt like a waste of time, I really hope you are feeling better now after not feeling so great a few days ago. Sorry I don’t have any experience with a miscarriage clinic, let alone the Liverpool one. I think Countryside’s advice about making the appointment is really good, if you don’t want to go you can always cancel it.
Goodluck for your IVF coming up countryside, I really hope the cycle is a success for you. Understandable you’ve got lots of emotions floating around your house at the moment. The best advice I can give you is to be kind to one another and don’t sweat the small stuff. (I wish I could live by those words) It wasn’t until after the cycle with hindsight that I could really see the effect the drugs had on my emotions. I thought I was doing ok, but actually I was a bit of an emotional wreck and poor hubby bore the brunt of it all. With the injections I got hubby to give them to me and that worked out really well. Even though I give injections to people at work, the thought of giving them to myself did not appeal at all. He also said that he enjoyed (probably the wrong word to use there) giving them to me because he felt he was part of the process. I think it was especially important after having ectopic pregnancies because with all of the tests, investigations, procedures etc we go through so much of it alone, not because our partners don’t want to be there, it’s just that they can’t take our place. That’s just how I feel anyway, so to have hubby do them for me it made a difference for both of us.
Gitast, I’ve heard little bits about NK cells but don’t know much about them I’m sorry. Oh hun, that is so frustrating having to wait till May to start the clomid, hopefully you’ll be so busy on your holiday you won’t think about it and May will come around before you know it. I get what you say about the waiting though, that’s what I find one of the hardest things about this whole situation!! I had acupuncture for three months before IVF and found it ok. Not sure I really noticed any difference in myself, but I found it helpful just doing something that’s supposed to help the IVF process (not that it worked Ha!). I’m pretty sure that there’s good research out there showing that acupuncture does help the chances of TTC.
Wow Redfairy, whispered congratulations. I completely understand about you going on medication and seeing a counsellor, I did the same thing last year and it really helped. It was about May I started the meds, and then I came off them before IVF in Jan, and I don’t feel the need to go back on them again. But I know what to watch out for, and don’t have any reservations about going back on them in the future if needed.
I’m slowly starting to feel normal again. I started back at work today after a month off while doing IVF, which of course I’ve been anxious about over the last few days, but it actually went ok. I’ve only told a few of my colleagues I was doing a cycle of IVF, but I think the grapevine has been at work because a few people kind of gave me that look of sympathy. It’s ok really because they are such a supportive group of women, I’m very lucky in that respect, and they all know about all of my eps and know IVF is the next step for us. I just wish that I had have chosen a different career to midwifery, but you’ve got to follow your passion right?
Thank you so much for listening and being a wonderful group of such supportive ladies, and it really is so good to see your names popping up again. Always here to chat. Have a great weekend (it’s Friday afternoon here) xxx
Well remembered re the Accupuncture Gita! Yes I have been going, and can even now look at the needles once they are in. Think I need to readjust my thinking and be positive - I can do this… Like you I now find a calmness after Accupuncture and have encouraged my acupuncturist to tell me what he is doing and why, it’s all really interesting. I plan to continue through my IVF cycle as I’ve heard it can be beneficial.
Redfairy! Wow - whispered congratulations!! When did you get your bfp?? i am smiling from ear to ear reading your news. Be kind to yourself and keep us updated!
Oneday - thank you so much for your support and advice. My husband said that he will do it, but doesn’t really want too as he hates the thought of doing something to me he knows I hate. So I’ve been feeling guilty about putting him in that situation, but also know he will if I can’t. I’ve decided I think I can do the pen injections but still unsure about the one with the proper syringe. It’s Friday morning in the uk, so you’ll be finished for the week, one more work day to go here!
It really is so lovely to reconnect with everyone here. Sending big hugs to you all xx
Ladies, thank you so much for your wishes, it means so much. And oneday, thanks for the support re the anxiety… It’s a very lonely place to be in when it’s happening and you feel like you’re the only person in the world that feels like that, so it’s a real comfort to know that others have come through it. I’m glad you’re feeling better.
All good so far, no bleeding or pain, so fingers crossed. Should hear from midwife any day… And this time I will absolutely insist upon an early scan.
I know that we will all get there eventually ladies, we just need to be brave and keep going. Thinking of you all xxxx
Good morning girls,
How lovely to hear from you redfairy!!! And with such amazing news. Hang in there girl. Must be scary but it’s about time for the luck to change. I will keep everything crossed for you. Can’t wait to hear about your first scan. Time will fly and you’ll get to see that little heart beating !!!
How is everybody else?
I am so pleased you all back to the forum. It’s strange but I was always thinking about you all. Hopefully this lonely full of heartache journey will end for us soon and we will come back for a chat about babies.
Baby dust girls !!!
Redfairy keeping everything crossed for a sticky bean.
Xxxxx
Redfairy I’m thrilled to hear everything is looking positive! Hope you have your scan soon so you know for sure little bean is in the correct place. Stay strong and most importantly look after yourself. i know how stressful our line of work can be. Take time off if you need to. Please do keep us posted. Here for you anytime
Ah Gita, I feel exactly the same, I didn’t look st the forum after finding out we needed to have IVF. I’m not sure why but I kinda found myself tho King that I didn’t belong here anymore but I’ve realised how silly that was and am so so pleased to come back and talk to you all, I tried a fertility forum but everyone spoke in code and it was so busy I couldn’t keep up. Much happier being back here with the wonderful mutual support and kindness.
I’m struggling a little with sleep, think the anxiety of having to start injecting next week is playing on my mind a lot. I’ve never really struggled with sleep before. i keep waking in the middle of the night and then brain goes into overdrive? I’m shattered, and feel a bit like I’m fighting a cold too. Does anyone have any suggestions??
Hope everyone is doing ok? Xx
Aww countrysidecrazy, it’s such a difficult journey to motherhood. I think it’s normal that you feel so worried. I would be the same. We are not trying now and I still worry. I take 'rescue remedy ’ it really helps to calm me down. You can get them for the day time and night.You can check with your ivf clinic if it’s safe. My consultant told me I can use it when ttc and in first trimester, but I might stay away from it when I’ll get pregnant unless anxiety will hit the roof. I hope you know what I’m talking about? You can get it in boots and most pharmacies. Has a yellow label. So far it’s life saver for me.
I truly hope it will be good news for you. We are here for you darling.
Redfairy hope you’re doing well
Xxx
Suggestive typing made such a nonsense, it wasn’t supposed to say sturdy footwear was ment to say Boots
Aww it changes again! I mean b o o t s!