I struggle finding people around me who understand. So I thought I’d share my thoughts here with you all, who understand better.
So I finally got my first AF. 5wks post op (lost right tube)
I’m thinking, this is good my body is healing ok then, everything is getting back to “normal” swiftly followed by; this is rubbish!!! I want my 6wk (tomorrow would be 12th wk) pregnancy back!
Same with my thoughts on TTC. One minute I’m like yes let’s do this!! Followed closely by the crippling fear of something happening again.
I just need someone to share my thoughts with and I can see on their faces they just don’t understand xx
I am 2.5 weeks post op. I have had a whirlwind of emotions since my surgery when they took my right tube. The bleeding stopped a couple of days after the op, and now I am feeling my body might be trying to get back to normal and I am waiting for signs of ovulation. I am absolutely like you that I am thinking about TTC and getting really focused on it for about half a day and then I will suddenly get so down and upset about the fact that I would have been 9 weeks pregnant by now, and I am just so so sad that it didn’t work out. I then get crippled by a fear that I will spend the whole of 2016 TTC and it wont happen…my worst fear is that I will be here this time next year and I still won’t be pregnant with a healthy pregnancy.
I know there is nothing I can change about this situation and I just need to get going with trying once I have had a real period etc but the future being unknown is terrifying and it leads me to catastrophise about everything. I have no friends who have been through this. This forum is the only place I know to go to. No one else understands, despite how helpful they might try to be…
I totally understand where you are coming from and I am sorry for your loss. x
We have decided to wait until May to start TTC again as I have scared myself silly with reading very unfortunate stories of ladies that have fallen very quickly after op and had to go through it again! Horrific!
My thoughts (currently) are as I was only on the contraceptive pill when I fell first time (I’ve always used two methods of contraception, had the rod removed sept, fell October). Perhaps I am super fertile, so praying every night that the loss of a tube won’t hinder my chances too much!
Obviously we will only ov every other month, so my plan is to just BD every other day as usual and try not to stress to much.
I have told a few close friends our plans to TTC to which one of them replied “what if it happens again” I was like, I wasn’t planning on it happening the first frigging time!!! They just don’t understand do they?!
I am feeling stronger and stronger by the day. And with that strength comes an huge desire to not quit! I will not condem myself to the thought of never bearing a child.
I hope you are healing well, physically. I know the emotional side takes a lot lot longer.
I’ve only just unsubscribed to all my pg apps and emails!!! Just wasn’t ready before. I’ll be 7weeks post op Wednesday would be 13 weeks Tuesday.
Hello, I totally understand how you feel! It’s such a mixed bag of emotions and you change your mind about things all the time.
I’m very sorry about your loss.
In June I had an ectopic where I lost my right tube and at the time vowed I would never try for children again, then after surgery I started to change my mind to yes deffinatley then no maybe not!! I decided to wait the full 2 months and not think about it as I needed the time to let my body heal. We then went for it I felt it was now or never as I was terrified but desperately new I wanted another baby. We went for it nothing g happened said this is good another other month of healing so tried again next month.
Currently laying in bed feeling little baby kicking away at 20 weeks and it’s the most wonderful feeling and I’m so blessed and pleased we did it!!!
Sorry for long posy but just want to tell you that it can happen and it can be in the right place. Allow time for healing physically but emotionally aswell.
Also you don’t ovulate every other month, you ovulate as normal I concieved from realising an egg on my tubeless side! The body is amazing and brings the ovulated egg over to the side with a tube!! So brilliant, so your chances are only lowered to about 80 -85% .
I wish you the best of luck for the future in the mean time just let everything run its course and allow time for grieving and healing.
Dimpleberry and Kate - so sorry for your losses. I’m so glad it’s not just me having the conflicting thoughts. I’m just 1 week post op and am feeling so impatient about having to wait a few months…but then something will set me off and I’ll spend the rest of the day in tears. And I know, logically, that I want that tube to be as healed as it can be before we try again. I was lucky (I think) that I had a fimbrial ectopic, so the embryo was extruding from the end of the tube and they were able to pull it out rather than removing a tube or making incisions in it. However the amount of scarring that might have been left on the end of the tube is now worrying me, together with why the cilia didn’t seem to be able to move the egg…it really barely made it into the tube at all. I wish I wasn’t such a good worrier!
cobblers1 - your story has completely made my day. Think I’m chasing success stories at the moment!!