Scared and anxious

Preparing For Your Next Pregnancy
1

We started ttc last April and found out I was pregnant in early October. I started bleeding and had tests that confirmed it was ectopic. I had my right tube removed and during the op they found some mild endometriosis. I was also told I have a heart shaped uterus - I’m not really sure what this means. Everything was explained to me after surgery but I was on my own and didn’t really take a lot in.

We are now ttc again and I’m really worried that I’ll have another ectopic or just not be able to get pregnant again. Every time I have a period I panic that I might have another ectopic. I feel really helpless and silly.

It doesn’t help that my periods have become extremely painful since surgery and I’m struggling to cope with the pain. None of my family or friends understand what I’m going through and although they try to help I just find myself getting angry at them. People keep saying that it’s fine and that I’ll get pregnant again quickly but I’m worried that I won’t. I just feel so lost and confused. I have so many questions that I didn’t get to ask.

Any advice would be great.

Thank you

2

Heyyyy,

So sorry to hear about your loss. I totally understand how you feel, my periods too have changed since the ectopic although mine have gone the other way and gone really light. I think it’s natural to feel scared and worried that we may have another ectopic- every time I have a really light period I think what if I’m pregnant then I get excited but then Uber worried that it’s an ectopic. However I do think that as time passes I have started to relax a little. It’s a year this month since my ectopic and my partner and I have had no joy so have started fertility tests. I worry that I won’t be able to get pregnant and it’s upsetting and frustrating when everyone around you seems to manage it with ease. However I try to remind myself that there are options if we can’t conceive on our own like clomid and ivf if it comes it to it. Maybe looking into your options might help you feel less stressed for if it’s ever needed.

Love and luck

Jen xxx

3

Dear Flower_28,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,

Trying to conceive again can be a challenging time for couples especially after experiencing loss. I will do my best to help.

While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things.

I wish I could give more precise information, but as I do not have access to your and your partner’s medical records, it is difficult for me to provide specific details. Generally, we and many healthcare professionals advise keeping a healthy balanced diet, maintaining a healthy weight and abstaining from alcohol and smoking.

Importantly, help is available if conceiving naturally has not yet been successful after some time trying - and the EPT advises that women under 35 should seek medical advice following 12 months trying to conceive and those over 35 should seek advice after 6 months.

The chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.

It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We experience a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget but we can learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process - might be weeks or months ahead. In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.

Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.

It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.

Sending much love,

Karen x

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?

Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk

Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.

Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.