Cathartic Sharing of Story - C-Section/Ectopic - Preparing to Try Again

Just kind of talking here. I feel like it may be helpful to share what I’m feeling. This seems like a safe place to do so.

34f in the US. I have one 15 month old. Her birth was traumatic with a c-section, transfusion, and post-op internal bleeding. Postpartum, I genuinely went to bed some nights thinking I was not going to wake up. I have other health problems and my heart just felt very weak.

I have been dreading this second pregnancy. Feeling like I may be risking my life to have another kid, but I also feel like I will be very disappointed in myself if this phase of my life passes and I didn’t have another kid because of my fears. I convinced myself that this pregnancy was going to be better and to have more of a “let’s do this” kind of attituted. Trying to turn my adrenaline into something positive. The pregnancy and mostly the postpartum phase was still something I was eager to put behind me.

I found out I was pregnant. I was a little afraid but mostly happy. When I started bleeding, I told myself “it’s all part of it.” 20% chance of miscarriage. This is the reality. When I started having excruciating back pain, I called the ob and got laughed at for suggesting ectopic. I got diagnosed with a slipped disc and went on with my life for a few weeks assuming I was miscarrying and had a slipped disc at the same time.

My pregnancy symptoms went away about 6 weeks and I stated bleeding more heavily about 7. I called to cancel my ultrasound because I knew I had miscarried and felt the cost was unnecessary and the ultrasound may be traumatic. The nurse convinced me to go in for diagnostic purposes and I did. I was fortunate in that there never was an embryo just a mass of cells in my left tube where the “slipped disc” pain was. So despite it being weeks after I called to ask about the ectopic, I was still a candidate for methotrexate. I had one dose. It has been a lot more painful than I expected. My hcg has dropped 90% as of yesterday so I suspect I will not need more treatment. Still in pain though. Not sure when that goes away.

The doctor said it is possible that my c-section created a bend that was not in my tube before. And told me I had a higher risk for a repeat compared to someone who hadn’t had an ectopic. This doctor also told me that I could start TTC as soon as my hcg dropped to 0. In reading these forums, I am going to wait the 12 weeks, but it is strange that it wasn’t medically recommended to me.

I am not the healthiest and I will be 35 (the geriatric pregnancy age in my country) before the 12 weeks is up. So I am feeling a slight pressure on time. I’m assuming that people in this forum won’t be able to tell me exactly what my early pregnancy care would look like because I’m in a different country, but I am very curious to know more about early pregnancy care for people who’ve had an ectopic. I’m assuming that I would be at risk for rupture and loss of tube. Pragmatically speaking, I have to consider that possibility in thinking about trying to conceive again and prepare myself for that outcome the best I can. How many ectopics can i/we take before we stop trying?

Now I feel pressed on both ends. A pregnancy test coming back positive is never going to be a happy feeling again. It’s going to feel more like “here we go. On to the next step.” And then even if I get through the first ultrasound and everything is viable and in the right place, I still am quite worried about the postpartum part. I’m trying to use better mental health practices, but it is getting hard. I feel like this is experience gets to be fun and exciting for so many people, but I’m not enjoying it, I’m just trying to survive it.

I hope people reading this find some sort of catharsis or comiseration.

Dear Tron,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy loss.

It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We experience a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget our experience, but we can learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process that might be weeks or months ahead. In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes. In the UK we advise to have an early pregnancy scan at around 6 weeks. This is because there is a reasonable chance of seeing the embryo at this stage. It is very important that you seek urgent medical advice with any bleeding or pain with subsequent pregnancies, just to be on the safe side.

When booking the early scan, we always recommend advising them of previous ectopic pregnancy and hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.

The chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.

While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.

As you have already mentioned, we and many medical professionals advise waiting for two menstrual cycles. It is important to allow time for your body to recover and emotions to surface and be worked through. This is so that you have some comfort that your body is returning to its natural rhythm and you have a last menstrual period date from which to date a new pregnancy - key information in checking you are not suffering from an ectopic pregnancy in the future. The first bleed soon after surgery for ectopic pregnancy is not classed as a period as it is the body’s response to falling hormone levels.

Making the decision to begin trying to conceive is an emotional rollercoaster compounded by our sad loss. Again, you are not alone. We here emotional support whenever you need us.

For now, he kind to yourself and allow time to grieve and heal both physically and emotionally,

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

The EPT is awarded the PIF TICK as a Trusted Information Creator, the UK-wide quality mark for healthcare information


If the information provided here or through the EPT website has helped you, you can donate towards our support services, volunteer, or fundraise to raise awareness.

Further information is available on our website.

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back support line: 020 7733 2653. We are able to provide support in multiple languages including British Sign Language.

Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list.

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team


Hi Karen,

Thank you for your reply. I’ve been trying to understand the statistics you shared with me. I saw you posted in another thread that there is no statistical difference between a risk of having a second ectopic in people who still have the damaged tube versus people who do not. Is that because no one has thought to separate the two categories when studying for risk of reoccurance?

My doctor also quoted me at 10-15% but did not have an answer for the risk to those who have the damaged tube. It feels like it may be closer to 50%. Do pregnancies really get passed the damaged tube that frequently or are there just not studies out there?

Dear Tron,

The sad truth of the matter is that there is very little research regarding ectopic pregnancy so we have very limited data to use.

People who are treated with methotrexate often still have both tubes. One may be damaged or there still maybe a remaining mass from the ectopic pregnancy (most people don’t know as it is not common practice to have further investigations in the UK), and their risk of a second ectopic is the same as someone who has had a tube removed. Statistically there is no difference between treatment routes (on the small amount of data we have)

I was treated with methotrexate and went on to have two further successful pregnancies, and these boards are filled with people with similar stories, which I hope gives you some hope.

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

The EPT is awarded the PIF TICK as a Trusted Information Creator, the UK-wide quality mark for healthcare information


If the information provided here or through the EPT website has helped you, you can donate towards our support services, volunteer, or fundraise to raise awareness.

Further information is available on our website.

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back support line: 020 7733 2653. We are able to provide support in multiple languages including British Sign Language.

Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list.

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team


Hi All,

I told myself I would share positive news when I had some to share (whether it be that i had found peace with not having another child or that I was pregnant) because I wished others shared that final piece of their journey.

It took longer than I hoped and there was pain every month that caused stress and anxiety.

I had an early scan (5 weeks and 5 days) after experiencing significant pain in the location of my previous ectopic. The pain was such that I went into the scan packed to go to the hospital…I didn’t expect it to be good news. But the pregnancy was in the right place and there was even a little heartbeat! Even now, I’m in pain in my old ectopic, I guess the new pregnancy is pushing on the old scar tissue. Perhaps in a way, my body is still holding a place for the one I lost.

One thing I will say, is that I did start to feel more ok about the possibility of not having another kid. I hadn’t quite gotten there but I certainly felt myself more open to accepting it, and I think if that is your journey too it is also a meaningful journey.

I know it’s not necessarily the end for me and is still early. So fingers crossed everything goes well.

Dear Tron,

Whispered congratulations on your pregnancy,

This is great news and thank you for taking the time to update us all in your journey. It really will bring comfort and hope to so many.

Wishing you a smooth pregnancy,

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

The EPT is awarded the PIF TICK as a Trusted Information Creator, the UK-wide quality mark for healthcare information


If the information provided here or through the EPT website has helped you, you can donate towards our support services, volunteer, or fundraise to raise awareness.

Further information is available on our website.

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back support line: 020 7733 2653. We are able to provide support in multiple languages including British Sign Language.

Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list.

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team