Hi, my names Tara, ive never done this before so a little bit nervous. . Two weeks ago tomorrow I found out I was pregnant & 4 days later I was rushed into surgery for my ectopic. The day me & my partner found out we was at the doctors because I was bent over in pain from server stomach pains, the doctor informed us that I was roughly 6 weeks pregnant but 50% chance I was having a miscarriage. I could hardly move without crying in pain and the doctor didn’t book us for an emergency scan until the thursday, this was monday. So we went home and tried to wrap our heads around things, we have been trying for a baby for about 7 months so wanted to be excited but felt we couldn’t as we could be losing our little one. The moment when the doctor told me I was pregnant I loved that baby and started connecting with it, I would place my hand on my stomach and beg my baby to be okay, pleading it not to leave me, I had had a miscarriage two years before so knew the heart ache. Thursday came and we went to out scan, they couldnt find the baby in my womb and told us they would need to operate to remove my baby and my felopion tube. Within 15 minutes of being told this I was on a bed being wheeled into surgery, it all happened so fast I wasn’t sure what was happening, I came to after my surgery and was dazed, I asked where my boyfriend was and asked if they had taken the baby from me? Once I was back on the hospital ward with my partner I was teary and wanted to know what happened, a nurse came and explained they had removed my tube and explained the tube had started to split and 1.5 liters of blood had started to leak in my stomach, thats why I was getting stomach pains and one day later it could have burst and I would have internally beld out and died. It all happened so fast my head couldnt keep up and reality didnt hit, a week and a half later and its just started to hit and im really struggling with it. I miss my baby so much and dont know what to do? My partner has been amazing but he has a little girl and im close to her but since I lost my baby I’ve struggled to be myself around her and cry alot, we only have her on weekends so its not that bad but im really having alot of trouble dealing with everything 
xx
Sending you lots of hugs. My experience was very similar to yours,it felt like it was happening to someone else,i concentrated on getting physical better first and then a week later all the raw emotions hit me. The day I had my operation my best friend gave birth to her little boy, she phoned me every day or emailed and when she visited me didn’t bring the baby as she was afraid it would upset me.I am so thankful for her support and understanding of what we were going through,goin to see her little one was one of the hardest thing I have done and came home and cried for hours,I suffered from another 3 ecoptics which were treated with thre injection after the first ruptured ectopic where I lost my tube, I have since adopted a little boy who is world. Even now 7 years later I still find it hard to be around pregnant women and I don’t think that will ever go away,and still go home and cry when someone close to me tells me they are pregnant. My only advice to you is take each day as it comes and do what feels right for you
sending hugs and kisses
Rachel xx