Advice needed - post salpingectomy emotional struggle

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1

Hi all, new to this forum but looking for advice - 2 weeks post unilateral laparoscopic salpingectomy.

Found out I was pregnant at 6 weeks and not ready for a baby (myself or my partner), decided to have a MTOP at home and move on.

However, this progressed to extreme pain and I was advised to attend A&E with a suspected ruptured right fallopian tube due to pregnancy likely being ectopic. I sat in the waiting room to be triaged for close to 2 hours because I wasn’t classified as an emergency - there was no external bleeding.

We were seen by triage and told we should have gone straight to the GYNE Ward - felt like I was being told off :shock: . This ward only accepts referrals from triage in A&E or your GP so unsure what to have done differently. :?:

As soon as I got to the ward I was examined and told I would need an emergency laparoscopy, until this point I thought I had an infection or similar from retained tissue aka not a massive deal. The doctor and anaesthetist explained the procedure to me and had me sign a lot of paperwork and then it was time for surgery. (They took less time to get me into surgery than I had waited to be seen in triage - it was super quick so I didn’t really process what was happening, I was just relieved that they would make the pain go away).

The surgery went well and I was released the next day (I had to be kept for longer than average due to low blood pressure and oxygen levels), and I went home ready to rest and heal.

The physical pain was pretty bad, I had three incision sites and my belly button was just carnage, plus I had a bad reaction in my throat to the anaesthesia so was on toast and water for about a week after. But, these things get better and I was soon keen to get back to my regular routine and job.

Here is where I started struggling:

Doctors/nurses/GP kept asking me when we will try again for a baby - they had been fully appraised of my MTOP attempt so I was stumped as to what to answer. What do you say in that situation?

Today was my first day back at work and I came home this evening and cried in the bathroom. I work in a sociable office, and after sitting in front of a computer and making conversation with co workers all day I am exhausted, and find myself very prone to tears and sadness.

For me, I was not emotionally invested in my pregnancy (not to sound heartless, I’m just a very practical person) and prepared myself to take the same approach to the surgery, but it has been really hard to stop crying and want to hide under my duvet - is this normal? How long does it last for? How do I make it better? :frowning:

I have found at hard to share my feelings with my partner, as I feel like I am failing somehow at getting better - we have read a lot of information about recovery and I understand it’s different for everyone, I was doing great after a week physically but feel like I’m now going downhill emotionally, and I just need some advice on how to manage it better and cope.

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Dear MindoverMatter,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy loss.

Whether a planned pregnancy or not, you have still had to undergo the diagnosis of a life threatening emergency situation, and surgery. Experiencing this can be very traumatic for some and, I personally found out that my emotions started to surface once my body was healing. This can be a common scenario.

It can take up to 3 months to even begin to process traumatic events and some people start having flashbacks of the whole experience and even develop PTSD.

Your body also needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.

Your doctor may suggest taking time off work for one, two, or even three/four weeks. Some may need longer and this may depend on the type of treatment as well as the emotional healing that is needed. This should be a conversation with your doctor, and if you feel you need more time than they suggest (even after issuing a sick note), it is important to let them know. Every woman is different, some find getting back to work relatively quickly helps towards adjusting to a new normal for their healing and others feel they are not ready and need more time. Any of these feelings are valid.

If you do not feel ready to go back to work, you could request a further fit note from your doctor. The amount of leave you can take after an ectopic pregnancy is not limited, as long as it is certified as pregnancy-related by your doctor.

If you return to work then realise you need further time off, you can again ask for a further fit note from your doctor. If your doctor is unwilling to certify this further time off as pregnancy related, you are entitled to visit another doctor to seek a second opinion.

I guess what I am saying is, you have been through a lot and you are allowed to feel how you are feeling just now. Take the time you need to recover both physically and emotionally.

We will be here for as long as you need,

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

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If the information provided here or through the EPT website has helped you, you can donate towards our support services, volunteer, or fundraise to raise awareness.

Further information is available on our website.

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

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MindOverMatter:
Hi all, new to this forum but looking for advice - 2 weeks post unilateral laparoscopic salpingectomy.

Found out I was pregnant at 6 weeks and not ready for a baby (myself or my partner), decided to have a MTOP at home and move on.

However, this progressed to extreme pain and I was advised to attend A&E with a suspected ruptured right fallopian tube due to pregnancy likely being ectopic. I sat in the waiting room to be triaged for close to 2 hours because I wasn’t classified as an emergency - there was no external bleeding.

We were seen by triage and told we should have gone straight to the GYNE Ward - felt like I was being told off :shock: . This ward only accepts referrals from triage in A&E or your GP so unsure what to have done differently. :?:

As soon as I got to the ward I was examined and told I would need an emergency laparoscopy, until this point I thought I had an infection or similar from retained tissue aka not a massive deal. The doctor and anaesthetist explained the procedure to me and had me sign a lot of paperwork and then it was time for surgery. (They took less time to get me into surgery than I had waited to be seen in triage - it was super quick so I didn’t really process what was happening, I was just relieved that they would make the pain go away).

The surgery went well and I was released the next day (I had to be kept for longer than average due to low blood pressure and oxygen levels), and I went home ready to rest and heal.

The physical pain was pretty bad, I had three incision sites and my belly button was just carnage, plus I had a bad reaction in my throat to the anaesthesia so was on toast and water for about a week after. But, these things get better and I was soon keen to get back to my regular routine and job.

Here is where I started struggling:

Doctors/nurses/GP kept asking me when we will try again for a baby - they had been fully appraised of my MTOP attempt so I was stumped as to what to answer. What do you say in that situation?

Today was my first day back at work and I came home this evening and cried in the bathroom. I work in a sociable office, and after sitting in front of a computer and making conversation with co workers all day I am exhausted, and find myself very prone to tears and sadness.

For me, I was not emotionally invested in my pregnancy (not to sound heartless, I’m just a very practical person) and prepared myself to take the same approach to the surgery, but it has been really hard to stop crying and want to hide under my duvet - is this normal? How long does it last for? How do I make it better? :frowning:

I have found at hard to share my feelings with my partner, as I feel like I am failing somehow at getting better - we have read a lot of information about recovery and I understand it’s different for everyone, I was doing great after a week physically but feel like I’m now going downhill emotionally, and I just need some advice on how to manage it better and cope.

I’m sorry you are going through this. Whether it was a planned or an unwanted pregnancy you’ve still gone through emotional and physical trauma which both takes time to get over. I was told a surgery is usually advised if high levels of hcg is detected in your blood, over 5,000 if lower then they will offer methotrexate as an option as well, if very low and they see HCG is naturally dropping they will give no medical intervention and just watch your levels. Also the doctor may have asked when are you trying again even though they knew about the MTOP to advise that you shouldn’t try again soon because of recovery, they may just be being safe and covering themselves, for example the methotrexate injection women aren’t allowed to conceive for 3 months. There maybe that minority of women who change their minds after this and want to try to conceive ASAP.

I think you are probably in shock and processing the shock so your body reacts by being weepy. Its also really scary etopic pregnancies. My pregnancy was very planned yet I was in shock through the pregnancy and the pregnancy loss. Im still anxious about it. It will take time to get your head around everything for sure. You aren’t alone.