Struggling!

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Hi

I am 6 days post having my right fallopian tube removed due to an ectopic.

Physically I’m still sore and tender especially around my belly button and right side, in others experiences how long did it take to heal physically post keyhole?

Emotionally I’m totally lost, scared and overwhelmed about everything that has happened. I work in the hospital where I had my scans and surgery and the thought of going back to work makes me feel so anxious :disappointed: am signed off for another week yet but it’s already worrying me that I won’t feel ready to go back.

Does anyone have any advice or suggestions on how to deal with it all?

Thanks, Maddie x

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Hi! My left fallopian tube ruptured last Tuesday so just over a week for me. I almost died and lost 5 litres of blood and ended up in intensive care. I am also still very tender especially my bellybutton as you said. Any little pain or change worries me.

I’m all over the place mentally and physically and I can’t even imagine going back to the place where I had my surgery done so soon. Can you extend your sick line? I’m going to be signed off until after Christmas holidays, at least and if I don’t feel ready, I will be taking longer with no guilt. I’m a teacher and I just can’t face it emotionally. Make sure you take all the time you need to recover mentally and physically, your body and mind have been through a lot, so don’t rush yourself if you don’t feel ready.

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Hey GreyBottle

Thank you for your reply and I’m so sorry to hear how much you’ve been through, sending lots of love.

I feel the same as you regarding any pain or ache, makes me terrified something bad is happening.

Emotionally I am all over the place. The hospital signed me off for 2 weeks which is what they initially do as standard. They said to contact my Gp to extend it. The guilt I feel for needing more time is awful :persevere: I feel like people are expecting me to be fine as it was ‘just’ key hole surgery, but it’s so much more than that isn’t it! it’s so hard to explain it to someone who’s not been through it (I totally get this is just my guilt making me feel like this and I’m sure no one actually thinks it)

Anyway - hope you are recovering as well as possible.

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My partner keeps reminding me that the worst has already happened and that’s really reassuring to tell myself in my head when I’m anxious about a pain or something feeling tender or just generally scary.

Thank you so much, same to you. It’s such a shame you are feeling this way as you have no reason to feel guilt. You’ve been through a huge ordeal. I was only given 2 weeks initially too but fully intend to get in touch with my gp before this runs out and will be off for 6, minimum, for me personally as I know I have been through so much. I’ve already pre warned work about this just to give them plenty of notice for cover (you don’t have to though if you aren’t comfortable) and they have been absolutely fine - they have to be, at the end of the day. I’ve had other traumatic events in my life I haven’t taken seriously at the time and it has really come back to bite me mentally, so it’s important to do what you need and be kind to yourself initially. As you work in hospital, you are probably similar to me working in a school, your absence affects others and you think about the things not being done when you aren’t there, or who is covering for you. The reality is, someone else will do it, and we are numbers on a page at the end of the day. No one else is going to put us first when it comes to work :heart: so it’s important you advocate for yourself! It’s a personal decision though, just my take on it. I hope that helps a little xx

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When you say it like that, it makes me feel more reassured a little too! I’ve found today the pain has changed from a generalised ache to a more localised sharp pain, trying to tell myself that it’s all the normal healing process!!

Don’t get me wrong, my work have been so good with everything and I’m sure they will continue to be. I just can’t help but feel guilty!!

I am the same as you, when other traumatic things have happened to me in the past, I’ve always rushed back to work and never fully taken the time to heal etc… but this time I really think I need to put myself first. You’re right, we are just a number at the end of the day and I need to remember my physical and mental health is more important.

Thank you so much, you’ve been super helpful. It’s nice to discuss this with someone who’s also going through it. Xx

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Dear Maddie and greybottle,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy losses,

Experiencing in an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal. You are in the early stages of recovery and your body needs time to heal from the surgery, which is in itself a gruelling task.

It is normal to experience some pain as you recover over the next few weeks. The discomfort should reduce over the next few weeks and I would suggest taking pain relief that has been prescribed for you, as directed by your doctors.

You should take it very easy for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time so please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others. One day you may be okay and the next you may be in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body signals. Pain and feeling tired are your body signals to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy diet drinking lots of water and resting.

In addition Maddie, it is worth bearing in mind that experiencing ectopic pregnancy is a very frightening experience and many women need to take time to help them deal with the psychological/emotional impact of the loss of their baby, being diagnosed with a life-threatening condition and undergoing major surgery. Please speak to your GP about having further time off work if required. It sounds as though you may need longer off work from a psychological point of view. Walking back into the hospital can certainly have the potential to be overwhelming. Perhaps there are other avenues such as a phased return (when you feel ready to go back)

Above all be kind to yourselves and allow time to grieve and heal both physically and emotionally. We will be here for you for as you need.

Sending much love,

Karen x

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Extend your sick leave sweetie.

Healing after the physical takes time and so does the emotional/mental.

Take all the time you feel you need xxxxxxxx