Hi,
I was 6/7 weeks pregnant and had keyhole surgery on 5 days ago for EP. My left fallopian tube was removed. Physically I still feel light headed now and again. I am not in too much pain but experience a lot of backache first thing in the morning. My stitches (dissolvable) are starting to feel a but nippy. Is that normal? How long will it take for me to physically feel normal again?
Emotionally, I feel all over the place. At times I think i’m okay but then some times I start feeling very low and cry. I don’t really feel like doing anything. Even though I only knew about the pregnancy for a week, i feel such a big loss. How long will i feel like this? I have a lot of support from family and friends but i don’t want to make such a big fuss about the loss i feel. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me or seek attention. How do i cope with this loss?
For me, I was on expectant management and discharged 2 weeks ago but for me talking, reading other people’s stories, I’ve had 2 calls with the ectopic helpline one for advice and the other just bc I felt like you and I needed permission to deal with all the messy bits. Have had to take some time off work because it comes in waves. All unexpected as this was an unplanned pregnancy in less than ideal circumstances and when I started bleeding after 2 days I thought nature was taking over for a miscarriage but it turned into 2 months of hell.
Allow yourself time and permission, there are layers of emotions or there is for me. I didn’t expect to feel like this. I thought I’d be ship shaped and back on it. I’m very practical about it all more than I’d convey on here bc it’d be insensitive but the emotions have flooded me between ambivalence to other ppls little problems (not like me at all) to sobbing for no reason and not necessarily feeling grief but shock at it all, loss of what it was meant to be - my body was meant to work a normal way and I feel broken.
Sorry I’ve diverged but I find reading other ppls stories and talking helps. Self care at home also. You’re allowed to feel this
Hi sorry for your loss I no how hard it is! I had an ep 8 weeks ago had to have emergency surgery tho and a blood transfusions I was very poorly and lucky to be here!
Physically I’m feeling better but can defiently tell if I over do it so I just try and take it easy, not easy with a 4 year and now I’m back at work!
Emotionally I’m still struggling Some days are better than others But talking does make it easier, some days I just sit here crying and thinking about it all, I didn’t really have much time to process it all at the hospital as it was a bit traumatic, I don’t think we will ever get other loosing a baby but I’m guessing it will get easier for us over time xx
Dear Chloe2018,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with.
You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.
Please be kind to yourself, allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally,
Sending much love,
Karen x
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Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
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I want to thank you all for your advice and sharing your experiences. I am just taking each day as it comes and trying to process it all. Xx
Hi chloe
I had the same thing about 6 weeks pregnant, had surgery stitches and my left fallopian tube removed on 12th September 18. My stitches felt very itchy but once the plasters were off I kept them really clean with salt water and when they had dried up ok I started using bio oil (and still am) which has helped to stop them feeling tight and itchy. I was bloated with gas too and it took about 10 weeks for me to deflate and get in to my normal clothes again. As I deflated the stitches calmed down as well. I guess they were less stretched! I hope this helps a bit and that the wounds heal up really soon. L x