Hello! I’m new here and just wanting a bit of reassurance/somewhere to vent with people who understand as I don’t know anyone who has had an ep, and the post op advice/support was patchy at best.
I had a keyhole surgery at 5 weeks + 6 days to remove my left tube and fetus 4 weeks ago, after having a miscarriage at 11 weeks in January. It was particularly weird because a lot of the staff that we met this time were the same (all were very kind). The doctors were brilliant until after my op, where we waited all day for them to tell me whether they were happy with the outcome and what they’d found (I know they are busy, the wait wasn’t a problem). When they came it wasn’t the consultant I’d had for the rest of the time, they explained everything very fast so I don’t really remember what they said other than the other tube looked ok. They showed me pictures of the tube before they removed it without asking me first and I’m still not sure how I feel about it, is it normal for them to do that?
My partner and I both work in events, he’s full time and I’m freelance at the same company. As I’m self employed I’ve lost my main source of income through not being physically able to do my job (lots of running around, bending, lifting heavy things etc) and work know exactly what the situation is but haven’t made contact with me at all, but have been very supportive to my husband. This is compounding the feeling of absolute loneliness and isolation, as well as the fear of not having any means of making money over the next few months (the work I do is very seasonal).
The two side wounds from surgery have healed up,but the one in my navel is sore, red and has been oozing a bit of yellowish goo. It looked red, weepy and was sore last week so I made an appointment with the nurse at my GP to get it checked - I’ve never had surgery before and don’t know what’s “normal”, but if I had an ordinary cut that looked and felt like that I would be concerned. I explained this to the woman I saw who helpfully told me “cuts hurt” :roll: and to essentially go away until it looked worse. It now looks worse so I’ve got another appointment on Friday to have it looked at, but I’m terrified they think I’m worrying over nothing and will just tell me to go away. It’s painful when I’m doing nothing, and even more so when I’m sat or bending. I don’t want to waste their time but I was told to get the wound checked if it was sore, red or weeping and as it’s doing all those things I am worried. Am I being stupid??
Is it normal to feel a sort of crunching pain in a line between the side wounds when I bend? I spent a few days painting the woodwork in our porch last week for something to do but there was a lot of bending and some reaching and I’m really worried that I’ve done damage to myself without realising? But at that point I just needed something to occupy me as I’m alone all day.
I had a call from the bereavement office yesterday to say we could come and collect our “tissue” (her word not mine) and it would be wrapped in a knitted blanket in a white casket?? I don’t know why but this has really made me feel weird. Has anyone else done this? I don’t know anyone else who has had to do this so I don’t know what to expect even though the woman sort of explained. What kind of casket? Surely it won’t need a big box?
We also said yes to histological testing and haven’t heard if they found anything out from that - who do we ask? We agreed to this in January with the miscarriage as I brought them some of the clots so they could see what was going on - but they never contacted is with any result? Even if they just said they couldn’t find anything out that would have been better. As far as I know my pregnancy in January was always talked about as a pregnancy of unknown location, so is it possible that this was a self resolving ectopic that then caused damage and made it more likely for this ectopic to happen?
I’m so sorry to whinge and have so many bizarre questions, but I feel extremely isolated and sad. No one I know has experienced this and although family and friends have been kind they don’t really know what to say.
Thank you for reading,
Catherine