A year ago I was told that my “pregnany would not be going ahead”. It’s strange because I thought that Christmas and the anniversary would make me think of you and how I lost you so quickly, and that I’d be unhappy all over again. But I’m ok.
I feel sad that I won’t be mashing up you’re Christmas dinner, or that I don’t have to stop you putting the decorations in your mouth! I feel sad that I didn’t have to buy pink paper, because I always feel that you’re a girl. I wanted to call you Rebecca (which wierdly is what the nurse called me by mistake.) But I feel that you’re here anyway, I imagine you watching your brother playing, and smiling.
He was so sad that we didn’t get to keep you, he even offered to give up his power ranger.
I didn’t explain to him what happened but I know that he’d adore you! He’s so gentle with babies and small children even though he’s so little himself!
Even though I didn’t see your face, I miss you with a mother’s love and think of you every day.
Mummy
xxx