2 Weeks post ectopic after IVF

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Hello all,

Two weeks post ectopic this feels like the only safe place to say how I feel without judgment and most importantly to people who understand so I hope you don’t mind this post.

We started ivf for the second time in May. We have one beautiful daughter and miscarried her twin 2 years ago via IVF. We were delighted and astounded to be successful second time around but our HCG level was low to begin with. Over the next 2 weeks post pregnancy test, our HCG levels grew perfectly and we headed off for our 6 week scan. We sadly found our little baby growing in my right tube, with a healthy heart beat and seemingly doing so well. After that scan was all a blur, rushed off to A&E, decisions being made for us and no time to think or take in what had happened not to mention what was about to. A few hours later I’m in theatre, my baby gone and my right tube. Ectopic was a risk we didn’t even know we had - I feel totally blindsided.

2 weeks on, crashing from the immediate withdrawal of ivf medication, I just don’t know which way is up any more. friends and family just say - ah you must be okay by now, but my heart is breaking. The little life we fought so damn hard to create has gone, part of my reproductive system has gone and my hope seems to have gone with it. I’m such a positive person, always the glass half full, but I just don’t know how to start to heal from this. Where do you even start? x

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Dear Nicole_Thomp,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and losses. To experience one loss is difficult, to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.

The feelings you describe are very understandable. You have had so much to process in a very small timeframe - the ordeal of IVF, the diagnosis, surgical treatment, losing a pregnancy and concerns about the future. Any one of these is hard to contend with and putting it all together is immense. After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women find that they experience feelings of isolation, I know I did. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

Above all, be kind to yourself, allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally.

We will be here for you for as long as you need.

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

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Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team