My wife is going through her 2nd ectopic, we had the first in 2014 and afterwards suffered 3 more miscarriages and only heard the heartbeat of our baby one time. We never made it to 12 weeks. After 2 years of not TTC we decided to try again, and before we could have any medical assistance to keep the baby we find its ectopic again. My wife lost her tube last time after trying to use medication to save it. I’m terrified for her, and dont know anyone who’s lost both tubes and had “normal” miscarriages on top of it. I dont know if IVF will be a logical option because the other miscarriages. We’ve had a hundred tests and nothing has ever been found. Feeling lost.
Dear Adam55,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. To experience one loss is difficult to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you and your wife.
Sadly I am not medically trained so cannot give you specific advice. Whilst it maybe difficult to read, sadly there is no chance of conceiving naturally if both fallopian tubes have been removed. There is always hope with IVF, and I am aware that referral criteria does depend on where you live. If you live in the uk, I would suggest making an appointment with your GP to discuss referral to a fertility specialist, as an when you feel ready to do so.
In the meantime, this can be a very difficult time for you and your wife,
we at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
We have information on our website about finding counselling services or if required you could speak to your GP about referral to talking therapies.
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
We will all be here for you for as long as you need,
Sending much love and warm hugs to you both,
Karen x
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
Hi Adam
I’m so sorry for what ye are going through. It’s horrendous. I still can’t get my head around it. I was suppose to start ivf on 2 occasions but I backed out. It’s too soon and it’s so hard knowing we can never conceive naturally again. I hope your wife is okay. It’s so hard. It’s important for her to know that she is not alone.