Three weeks prior we thought you had gone
we thought you had left this world
we thought our little bean was in the heavens
but we discovered you were still there…
You were still growing inside mummy. You were still alive!
Little bean I was over the moon that you had not left this world.
You still had life!
You were still alive!
Little bean, we still had hope!
Mummy was going to keep you safe and warm for 9 months before you came into the world.
Little bean mummy held you so close in her heart and soul.
You had a beating heart.
You were still there…
We felt so confused and lost,
we thought you had departed this world and had been grieving your loss.
But, your little heart was still beating away. You were alive!
Our hopes of becoming your mummy and daddy had been rekindled.
We had a renewed hope.
Little bean we watched as your little heart went ‘boom, boom…boom, boom’ in its own happy beat.
It was so exciting. You were alive!
You were so precious, a real treasure, our everything.
You had a beating heart.
You were still there…
But little bean they said you were in the wrong place.
Wrong place? It must be a mistake…
Please, not our precious little bean.
We desperately wished we could have saved you and protected you from harm.
Mummy and daddy are so deeply sorry.
You had a beating heart.
You were still there…
Mummy cried and cried, tears of heartache and despair.
But mummy’s tears were warm because of her deep love for you.
Inside mummy pleaded and screamed,“no, you can’t take our little bean.”
“It’s our precious little bean.”
You had a beating heart.
You were still there…
Then came the ending, we had to say goodbye,
mummy trembled with fear and felt helpless.
It was so cruel, you deserved so much more.
You had a beating heart.
You were still there…
Again little bean they thought you had gone.
But little bean you still fought on
For a further three days, your heart continued to beat,
and we watched as your little heart went ‘boom, boom…boom, boom’.
It was so surreal, and caused immense trauma but also a tiny sparkle of hope.
You had a beating heart.
You were still there…
You weren’t giving up!
You truly were mummy’s little bean.
You showed amazing strength despite what you had to endure.
It caused faces to become perplexed.
But little bean they didn’t realise you were a fighter.
If you had made into this world, you would have been an incredible person, with so much strength.
You had a beating heart.
You were still there…
Sadly in the end it was too much for you little bean, and your little heart stopped.
We are so sorry, we really are.
Others said, ‘oh that’s positive news’
Positive news?
Little bean, I felt angry and sad that they had forgotten what you meant to me.
You had a beating heart.
You were still there…
It has been a year today since we discovered you were still there, but little bean we will never forget you, you were a fighter and you will still be here, in our hearts and minds forever.
Love always for now and through eternity
Your ever loving mummy xxx
Daddy loves you very much too. xxx