At the moment there seems no end to this depressed feeling I don’t even know if trying to make the decision to stop trying would help but it’s been 8 months now since ectopic and things feel worse maybe it’s the fact it’s taking longer and longer and times ticking by and there’s nothing I can do.
Anyone out there who made the decision to stop? How to almost come to terms with possibly not having a successful pregnancy.
I told myself I would keep trying until December I’m feeling worse every time ovulation happens - the pressure - then the depressed feeling when the period comes.
At the moment there seems no end to this depressed feeling I don’t even know if trying to make the decision to stop trying would help but it’s been 8 months now since ectopic and things feel worse maybe it’s the fact it’s taking longer and longer and times ticking by and there’s nothing I can do.
Anyone out there who made the decision to stop? How to almost come to terms with possibly not having a successful pregnancy.
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Hi there,
I’ve read quite a few of your posts on this forum over recent months and just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone in your questioning. I myself have been refraining from writing here because as my history has built up, I’ve felt as though it might be more scary than helpful for others. I’ve had my first three pregnancies in the last 1.5 years. The first two (both in 2023) were ectopic on the same side, treated first with MTX and then salpingectomy. In May this year I found out I was pregnant again. It was actually looking ok for the first time, but I was told at 12 weeks that I had had a missed miscarriage.
I appear to have developed some level of traumatic stress response to pregnancy and even the possibility of being pregnant. So while I haven’t decided yet that I wanted to give up trying completely, I very much feel like trying to get pregnant is having a negative impact on my mental health. And I know the stats are encouraging in that most women can eventually get pregnant, when you’re always ending on the low stats side of things it’s hard to trust that you will make it on the good side.
So I totally understand your feelings. I’m working with my counsellor to work through the negative emotions and would certainly recommend it if you aren’t. I am also noticing myself being judgmental about my wanting to continue trying (am I just bringing that hard stuff onto myself), so working to be more gentle with myself.
Whatever you decide is ok, and changing your mind about what you decide is also ok. You’ve gone through some real hard stuff that most people can’t even to understand. So I hope you give yourself some grace. Sending a big hug.
Cam xox