Hi Everyone.
I wanted to share my story for the sake of anyone else out there who has been or will go through what I have been through, purely so you know you aren’t alone…
On the 5th of September 2019 I had emergency surgery to remove a Tubal Stump Ectopic IVF Pregnancy…
To give a bit of background, my husband and I have been married for 13 years (we got married at 21) and have been trying to conceive for 10 years. After 2 years of trying I had surgery for what was thought to be a large cyst but turned out to be a large hydrosalpinx (a blocked, fluid filled Fallopian tube) on my left side. The surgeon didn’t remove it because I hadn’t consented before hand, and when I woke up he wasn’t very helpful at all, said the other tube although damaged might still work (despite my abdomen being full of adhesions) and told us to keep trying for another year or so and see what happens. With hindsight we should have switched doctors immediately but we were young and took his word for it.
The reason for the adhesions was because my appendix has burst when I was a child and the surgery and infection had caused a lot of damage and scarring. I had no idea at the time…
We actually tried for over 2 years after that without success and I went back to the doctors because I was in pain from the hydrosalpinx. Fast forward another 18 months or so (NHS waiting lists!!) and I had surgery to remove hydrosalpinx. The other tube was investigated and I was told it was blocked/damaged and IVF was our only hope for having children.
A year later in 2016 we began IVF on the NHS and were delighted to have 8 embryos frozen. We had two attempts that year and both failed. After the 2nd failed transfer I became terribly depressed. I think the stress of all the previous years of trying finally caught up with me. I became very unwell with stress and this delayed things a bit. Later in 2017 we tried again, lost one embryo due to it not thawing well, had another transferred but it didn’t work either. I had also developed a large ovarian cyst and my other tube had began to occasionally fill with fluid so I was sent for more tests. I was still really suffering with stress and depression during all of this. Its a bit of a blur time line wise but we had a fourth embryo transfer in early 2018 which also failed.
At this point it was decided that due to the cyst and tube I should have another surgery. My 3rd (4th if you include my appendix!). So in January of this year I had the operation to remove the cyst and to disconnect the remaining Fallopian tube from my womb just incase the intermittent presence of fluid in the tube was contributing to our lack of success.
During the lead up to that op and after it I did alot of work mentally to become as well as I could and to recover from my stress and depression. I was seeing a therapist every week and made so much progress. Finally in July of this year, we embarked on our 5th IVF embryo transfer.
I was on a slightly different drug combination, I had had the surgery that had gone well, I went entirely caffeine free and I was in the best mental health I had ever been on our whole journey. We endured the 2 week wait and to our astonishment got our long awaited BFP! It was like a miracle and were over the moon. We contacted our IVF clinic and they booked a 7 week viability scan on the 4th September.
It took forever to arrive and we were so nervous and excited. I had had a very small amount of spotting which I had reported but the clinic weren’t too worried… I had prepared myself for what I thought was the “worst” - a missed miscarriage which is common in IVF, but nothing could have prepared us for what happened next.
The IVF nurse was very quiet as she scanned me and said she needed to get the doctor… he came in and took over and asked if I had had any pain. I said “a little, but I always have some pain thanks to the adhesions in my pelvis”… He turned the screen to me and showed me my womb, thickened as you would expect in pregnancy, but empty. He moved the scan over and revealed a little embryo in a gestational sac with a little heart beating away. He said “I’m really sorry but your pregnancy is outside of your womb”. I said “are you telling me its Ectopic?” He said “yes…” I said “How can I have an ectopic pregnancy?! I don’t have any tubes?!” He said “I think its in the stump of your left Fallopian tube…”
The next few hours were a total blur. I was rushed to hospital, bloods taken, hooked up with a cannula, obs taken every half hour, everyone waiting incase my tube ruptured. I was on the list as an emergency, but didn’t actually have the surgery until the following day because I hadn’t ruptured and there were other more important patients to deal with first.
The surgery took 3 1/2 hours but was successful. I had to consent to a hysterectomy before hand incase the pregnancy was in the “cornea” part of my tube (where it connects to the womb). It wasn’t thankfully but if it had been it would have been very dangerous to my life to try and remove it so a hysterectomy might have been necessary.
Its been a week and a half since that awful, awful day. Im home, recovering but still in the very early part of processing what has happened to us. My IVF Dr said the chances of it happening were 1 in 1000s. Ive learned since that ectopics do happen in IVF, there are lots of theories as to why but no one knows for sure. But to have a tubal stump ectopic is INCREDIBLY RARE. We have been so unlucky. Of all the places for that little embryo to settle… it just feels so cruel.
Safe to say we are both feeling very traumatised. I know we will be ok emotionally eventually but it feels such a long way off. It has made the prospect of pregnancy feel very dangerous. It used to be our life goal and now it feels so risky.
We have 2 embryos left which we are of course thankful for and also the prospect of another round of IVF. Its hard to imagine taking that though if im honest. I don’t know how much longer I can do this for. 10 years of trying, 4 laparoscopic surgeries, 4 failed IVF transfers, 1 BFP ending in a horrific ectopic nightmare. Its alot to take.
I know our circumstances are rare and the likelihood of someone reading this having gone through the exact same is impossible but I just wanted to write it out incase anyone comes across this site looking for empathy over a tubal stump ectopic in particular, and an IVF one at that. I dont have any answers as to why this happens, but if you’re reading this and have suffered similar I just want to say I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve it and I feel your pain.
Be so gentle with yourself and get help to work through the trauma. Im so thankful I was having therapy before this happened. If I hadn’t I really think it would have pushed me over the edge. Im seeing my therapist again this week and know working through it all with her will be so helpful and I will recover and I will rebuild myself eventually. My husband is also having therapy. I just need time and I just need to practice kindness and patience with myself. Treat myself like I would a friend who is grieving.
I hope you can recover too and have hope for the future, even when it is so so hard x