Thinking about #2/my story

Alternative Routes to Parenthood
1

Hi everyone. I’m sort of an old timer for this board but haven’t been around in a while…

I had a natural ep and my first tube out when I was 20. I split up with my then boyfriend a couple of years ago. I got married nearly 7 years ago and ttc. Nothing happened, so we went down the IVF road.

My only fresh cycle so far gave me 11 embies. I transferred one fresh, got pregnant, then had either a miscarriage or an early EP and then had severe depression afterwards (couldn’t move from the sofa, couldn’t put my clothes on straight, couldn’t work the shower, it was {inserts a word stronger than the one the EPT will allow}.

At the same time as all this was going on, I was working part time and doing a part time postgrad; the postgrad in particular kept me sane, as it was a ‘safe’ environment where I could go and it was extremely unlikely someone would bounce pregnancy news on me! By this point I’d do anything to avoid pregnant friends.

Then I tried to book a frozen cycle with my NHS clinic but got so fed up with their byzantine booking procedures that, after a couple of attempts, I went private, driving my embies across town. My old clinic is in the news sporadically as their success rates have plummeted over the last few years.

I then had two natural FETs, which failed.

I then had a medicated FET, which got a postive HPT, but then turned out to be ectopic and ended up in another trip to the operating theatre to get my last tube out. I know getting both tubes out was {another word stronger than which I am allowed to use}, but I actually felt much better for it.

So, I had four embies remaining. The next two didn’t stick.

Of the last two, I had one last shot, around 18 months after I started. If it didn’t work I was going to give up for a few years, and aim to learn Russian and do the Trans Siberian Express.

One of those last two stuck, and is now my nearly-two year old son. I don’t want to gush because I know it’s a bit annoying if you’re reading all this and haven’t got there and, more to the point, may never do, but he really does make it all worthwhile.

My thoughts have been turning to going for number 2 in the autumn. I’m still not decided (well, I’d love to) but I think my husband has really seen me go through the mill and is a bit more reluctant.

Anyway, we’re not ready to go yet, but I might be dipping in and out to psyche myself up and to find out what’s changed; I’m thinking about doing egg sharing this time.

If there’s anything I’ve learned, it has been that I’d have been better getting my ropey tube out in the first place (not recommended for everyone), and that the more you do IVF the more likely it is to work, although bearing in mind that everyone has a breaking point with the stress IVF causes and it can’t go on forever.

Good luck to everyone out there who is ttc their first (or subsequent) babies.

/waves to knittingvixen and everyone else who remembers me!

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hiya I remember you from before, my ivf baby is 17.5 months, we ttc for 10 years with 2 ep in that time. we were very lucky our first cycle worked and we have frozen embryos. however we have decided that since we hit the jackpot already we will leave it at that. it would be lovely to have a larger family but I found pregnancy was hard, my sons birth was traumatic (for me lol, he was fine), I’m left with some now relatively minor but annoying problems that would likely be made worse by doing it again, so as my husband says “maybe quit while we’re ahead”, And Also I’m still quite tired :lol:

best of luck to you in whatever you decide

Angie xxx

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I remember BOTH of you from before and am obviously still in touch with you Sushi - I hardly ever come on here any more but just wanted to say GOOD LUCK with it all, it is hard psyching yourself up again. Since little G (she has just turned two) we have had one frozen and one fresh go, both have failed, we have two more fresh goes paid for (we got a three cycle deal from my clinic) which we have to use this year. Trying to do it all with a toddler and work is taxing but like you say, it is a numbers game a lot of the time, this IVF business.

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Hi Sushigirl,

I’m new to the forum having recently had 2 EPs 6 months apart, the 2nd was 3 months ago and I am still struggling to cope some days. I had a look at this forum in the early days but never joined or posted, then, after a bad day today, I decided that actually a bit of support from others who understand the pain and sadness of EP might help. At first I wasn’t quite sure where to post as my story is a little different to a lot of the ladies on here but then your story jumped out, so here I am.

Like you I have a son, he has just turned two. He is my world and I am so very grateful for him. I know plenty on here have not yet been so lucky so I do hope I don’t upset anyone but he reminds me every day why I am doing this and keeps me going. I didn’t have the easiest time having him (18 months TTC and 2 miscarriages) but nothing like the journey you had (hats off to you for keeping going, an invaluable lesson for anyone embarking on IVF I think). Foolishly I thought my body would have had ‘worked out what it should doing’ after him but how wrong I was.

I fell pregnant within about 6 months of trying for #2,. When I had lots of bleeding I thought I was having another miscarriage, so was a little shocked when I was taken off to theatre straight from the early pregnancy unit and even more shocked when I woke up to find it was indeed an ectopic (they said 50/50 chance from the scan) and that my right tube had been removed. The surgeon said he couldn’t see any reason why it had happened and no reason why it should happen again. So we picked ourselves up, dusted ourselves off and tried again. 4 months later I was over the moon to discover I was pregnant yet again - on Christmas Eve no less. This time no bleeding, no pain and I really felt ‘pregnant’ - tired, sick, just like I had with my son. I had a routine scan at 7 weeks because of the previous ectopic and tried my best not to get my hopes up. At the scan there was a perfect, little 7 week sized baby, heartbeat and all, sitting in my left tube :-(. To say we were devastated was an understatement. They advised me that I should have surgery and my left tube removed and, to be honest, I felt the same way as you, in some way relieved, I’m sure those tubes had actually been causing me problems from Day 1. But going from thinking we were finally going to be having our desperately wanted second baby in the summer, to no baby and no more babies conceived naturally in the space of about an hour was pretty horrendous.

So, a somewhat different journey to you but looks like we are now in a similar position - thinking about starting IVF, no tubes (and a toddler!) Thanks for sharing your story, it has helped me to feel a little less alone. And I hope you don’t mind me gatecrashing your post, it has helped me a little already just writing everything down, (hopefully someone is still reading this, I know you posted a few months ago now),

Good luck with your journey, it would be nice to chat to you and anyone else on a similar journey, my friends and family have been lovely but I know the people on this forum ‘get it’ in a way that they never can,

Thanks for reading,

Natters

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Dear Natters,

Just wanted to say that my heart breaks for you reading your story and that we are here for your journey if and whenever you need us. Wishing you the best of luck for your IVF should you choose that route.

Much love,

EPT Host 13

X

6

Hi EPT Host,

Thank you so much for your kind reply, I really appreciate it,

Natters

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Hi All

I just popped on here as I haven’t visited in a long time and was having somewhat of a reflective evening. Some of you may remember me waves.

Just wanted to wish everyone luck - Leinlondon, I didn’t know you were trying again either. My IVF bundle is 18 months old now although sadly his dad and I are now separated so no chance for any more which is a little sad. I never thought I’d get to meet a little one of my own though so trying not to be down about it.

C xxx

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