Hi all,
I am only a week on from my second ectopic pregnancy - which resulted in my only remaining tube being removed. I am still off work and as such lots is going around my head…
The bottom line is that my partner and I have been desperate for a family for the last 2 years… this ectopic was the only time I got pregnant during that time. I am sad, angry, disappointed, totally jealous of everyone with children at the moment… We are being referred for IVF. I am not against it but if I’m honest I am slightly scared and worried about the impact on me if it fails… I know I can’t go in thinking like that but it is such a small chance really of success (I am 35).
Has anyone else got any thoughts or experiences of this?
Thanks x
Dear Chamelle1,
We are so sorry you have been through such a hideous time and have lost both of your tubes. All of the feelings you describe are totally natural given what you have just been through.
I don’t have any personal experience of IVF so am just bumping the message up again to see if anyone else out there has any personal experience they can share so Chamelle knows she is not alone?
I understand your worry about how you would cope if the IVF failed. It is so hard when there is nothing you want more than a baby and you don’t feel like you have much control over the outcome. For reference the average success rate across UK clinics for IVF at age 35 is roughly 25%. We will be here for you to vent frustrations, answer questions and share emotions if you need us every step of the way.
Much love,
EPT Host 13
Hi Chamelle1,
I am so very sorry to hear about what has happened to you. Your feelings all sound perfectly normal and it is still such early days.
I just wanted to say that I am currently embarking on the IVF process too after losing both my tubes to ectopics in the space of 6 months (I won’t bore you with my story again - see my post on the other thread on this board started by sushigirl) - I know I’m in a rather different situation to you as I am very blessed to have a son already and won’t be offended at all if you’d rather not chat. But I do understand some of your feelings about the fear of opening yourself up to more heartache by even trying IVF and I didn’t have the easiest time having my son (2 miscarriages and 18 months TTC) and will never forget the sadness I felt at the time.
I have had a couple of consultations with a fertility consultant now and just to reassure you regarding your age - you are actually pretty young in IVF terms - the success rates for woman aged 35-38 are only very slightly lower than woman under 35 (I am 35 too). I found it really helpful to talk through my situation with my consultant - IVF is so dependent on individual circumstances that general statistics don’t tell you very much. I got more useful information in the space of about 10 minutes than I had in any of the preceding 6 months.
Wishing you the very best of luck on your journey, and just shout if you ever want a friendly ear or need some moral support,
Natters