Hi everyone,
This is my first time posting…
I am recovering from surgery to remove my baby and Fallopian tube just over a week ago.
One of the biggest feelings that I am struggling with is the overwhelming guilt that my baby was alive when it was removed from me. I’m a pragmatic person and know that the baby would never have survived and probably would have killed me, however, my role as mummy was to protect my baby and feel I didn’t do that.
Does this pain get any easier?
Dear Kimcalister31,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. This is one feeling I truly suffered from too. However there really isn’t anything you could have done to prevent your ectopic pregnancy.
Feelings of loss and guilt are very normal at this stage and the old saying that time can be a healer is certainly true. We are here to talk through your feelings anytime and if you start to feel overwhelmed, please speak to your GP.
Above all, be kind to yourself, allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally.
I know that when I had my ectopic pregnancy I also looked for a reason and almost automatically we tend to blame ourselves. From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame. Please be kind to yourself and I send you gentle hugs.
Karen x
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Thank you for your reply Karen.
I know you are right and I just need to give this time. I think I have just been overthinking everything so much over the past 2 weeks as part of my attempt to process what has happened.
I have started to write my thoughts down and feel like this is helping. I’m also seeking some counselling sessions which I think will be really good for me.
Thanks k x
Hi kim
I had my operation on the 23rd July after finding out the day before. I like yourself self gulity and had so many same feelings. I felt gulity but I know I did the right thing as I had ruptured so it could have killed me. First two weeks I felt horrible my anxiety got really bad and I felt Sad down everything its only this last week I’ve felt better and hopefully this carrys on. Please don’t feel bad this is something us as women can’t control 