Struggling with feelings

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hi everyone. I had the first dose of the injection for treatment for my ectopic yesterday. I knew something was wrong because I’d bled on this pregnancy and didn’t on my first.

I recently split with the dad of both pregnancies and I just feel incredibly alone. I had to beg my mum to come and help me with my first (on doctors orders!). My child’s father was messaging me throughout my stay at hospital asking when I could pick him up. I was all alone in hopsital and for treatment.

I just want some time to grieve what should have been, another child, a sibling for my son.

I’m worried that being single, my age, my weight and the chances of another ectopic are all against me having another healthy pregnancy. I know the doctors would have gone ahead with surgery if I’d been a lower weight so I’m worried the injection won’t work and it will rupture anyway and I’m not sure what I’d do if that happened when my mum leaves.

I don’t know what the point of this post is but I guess it would be reassuring to hear positive post-ectopic stories, whether it’s a healthy pregnancy or that you managed to move on from what could have been.

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Dear Sophie,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy loss, especially having to go through this alone.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and its treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our baby. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and it will take time to heal.
I would suggest that you do ask family members and friends for help during your recovery period. I found that most people I spoke too, had never heard of ectopic pregnancy so didn’t truly understand how difficult it is to deal with both physically and emotionally.
We have a really good website full of information about ectopic pregnancy and its treatment and recovery and i wonder, if you feel comfortable enough to do so, if you could send the information to your family or your childs father so they can start to understand the full impact of what you are going through
https://ectopic.org.uk/
https://ectopic.org.uk/what-is-an-ectopic-pregnancy
https://ectopic.org.uk/treating-an-ectopic-pregnancy
https://ectopic.org.uk/physical-recovery
https://ectopic.org.uk/emotional-recovery

With regards to conceiving again, there is a 90% chance of a successful pregnancy next time. Statistically, the chances of having a future successful pregnancy are very good and 65% of women are healthily pregnant within 18 months of an ectopic pregnancy. Some studies suggest this figure rises to around 85% over two years. The time it takes to conceive and chances of conceiving depends on many factors such as the health of your Fallopian tube(s), age, your general and reproductive health and how often you have sex.

I too was treated with methotrexate, I had one dose which was successful and i went on to have a successful pregnancy next time, so I hope that provides some comfort.

For now, be kind to yourself, ask for help (if you can) to give yourself the time to grieve and heal both physically and emotionally.

We will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need. If you feel you need more support, we also offer email and a telephone call back service (details below). We will simply be herd for you, however you wish, for as long as you wish.

Sending much love and gentle hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

If the information provided here or through the EPT website has helped you, you can donate towards our support services, volunteer, or fundraise to raise awareness.
Further information is available on our website.
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team