Single person journey

Main Board
1

Hi everyone -

I wondered if anyone can relate to going through ectopic pregnancy as a single person?

I fell pregnant unexpectedly with someone I had a long term ‘casual’ relationship with. We disagreed with my decision to continue with the pregnancy, but I was quite happy to do it alone as being a mother is something I always wanted. I thought everything through, made sure I could financially support a child alone, looked at maternity leave and childcare and I was confident, I knew I could do it.

However, what I didn’t think about was doing it alone when something bad happens. I was diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy at 6 weeks, had emergency surgery and my right Fallopian tube removed. The other person involved initially asked me to keep them updated etc, but he didn’t support me unfortunately, as soon as he found out I was having surgery I didn’t hear from him again.

So I just wanted to talk about how it felt to do something so difficult on my own - having nobody to relate to in the situation was the worst. It was our baby and I don’t understand how he could just cut ties without a care. Having nobody to hug me and tell me it’s all okay, having nobody to look after me after I had to have surgery to remove my baby. It all just plays on my mind so much.

I’m now 4 weeks post op so I can talk about this a lot easier, but it would be really comforting to know I’m not alone in these feelings,

Thank you

2

Hi Keeri1106,

I am really sorry to hear what you had to go through. Unfortunately, I cannot say that I experienced the same as I do have a partner. Nevertheless, I also did feel loneliness.

Although I live with my partner, he was in the process of changing career. So he was out most of the day, attending his course, and in the evening he would attend loads of networking and career focused events. I have no family in this country and I have no close friends as they all moved away. I would sometimes call my friends and family but due to the time difference (they all live in a different country), it was always a bit hard to organise a call. So I would spend most days just in bed and crying. It lasted for 3 weeks and then I decided that I was ready to return to work.

One thing that really helped though is this forum and the support you can get from the EPT. They offer zoom calls and telephone calls which was really helpful to make me feel less alone. All I wanted was to talk to someone who had been through what I had and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel… even though it was hard to see from where I was then. I also joined Facebook and engaged in different ectopic pregnancy groups. It was nice to receive immediate response sometimes.

I hope you find some comfort in something. xxx

3

Dear Kerri,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy loss,

When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and I’m so sorry you have had to go through this alone.

Women reach out to us having experienced ectopic pregnancies in many different circumstances. You are amongst friends here and we will support you for as long you need. We have various methods of support from these forums, emails, telephone calls and online support groups. The details are in the tag line below.

Above all be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally.

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team