Just wanted to share with someone who understands.
Im goin thru this hell for second time…now praying that nothing bad happens before the scheduled op on tue. First time everything happened way too fast but this time im emotional wreck. From the moment i saw the positive test n bleeding it was deja vu. It was hard enough first time, not sure how id survive second one…left with no tubes n no hope…
I don’t think there is anything anyone can say that will make you feel better at this point, this is my biggest fear and I am so sorry you’re going through it. When I am having awful anxiety and panic attacks about it happening again, the only thing that helps me is thinking that that is not the end of the line necessarily. You can have IVF, you can use a surrogate (if you live in a country where that is legal). Please get all the help you can gather right now, a therapist, medication, your partner/ friends/ family and when your life is not in danger anymore and you can breathe again, start looking into these other options.
We WILL become mothers, one way or another!
Sending you so much love 
Dear Silvi,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancies and losses, to experience one loss is difficult, to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.
You will have the physical recovery from surgery to go through, but I can only imagine that the emotional journey is going to be tough this time.
When you are ready asked to be referred to a fertility specialist to discuss you options to conceive in the future.
For now concentrate on you and you physical and emotional health. These boards are a safe place to share and even vent it you need to.
We will be with you for as long as you need.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
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Thank you for kind words of wisdom!
There is always Hope!