recent ectopic, worries, anxiety, back to work etc

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I came off of the pill on the 6th Nov and had my withdrawal bleed a few days later. i then had what i thought was my first proper period on 8th December which lasted for around 5 days. Then randomly on the 18th December in the evening i doubled over in pain, was sweating profusely and couldn’t walk. i managed to fall asleep and when i woke up i had soaked through my pyjamas with blood. something made me take a home test which was very much positive.

Then came the relentless back and forth hospital trips. heavy bleeding and pain in the lower left abdomen.blood tests showed my hcg was at 800 and this only went up to 900 in 48 hrs. it then slowly started to decline to 500. I was told i had a miscarriage as they could not locate a pregnancy anywhere. On boxing day i had a scan which showed a pocket of blood/fluid in my pelvis and blood in the left tube. It was confirmed i had an ectopic pregnancy that had miscarried in the tube. They made me sign consent forms and geared me up for surgery. Then came to me to say that my hcg had dropped to 300 so they would rather do expectant management and my body would more than likely absorb everything. It has since dropped to 87 so still being monitored. I have dull aching on my left side still but most of the effects at this stage now are emotional.

i suffer with anxiety at the best of times by this has put it through the roof. Before all this happened i was dealing with doctors for possible endometriosis due to pain coincidently on the same side as my ectopic. I’ve convinced myself that my tube was already damaged and all of this is because of endometriosis although no doctor has confirmed it. Logically it makes sense. Is this something that can be monitored? I hadn’t mentioned it to the doctors at the hospital as everything was such a blur…

I’m also now confused about going back to work. In total i’ve had 7 days off which i have self certified. This was from when it first started to now (christmas break in between). I am an estate agent and am expected to be cheery/ motivated/ driven. but how? I feel as though i should go back as i haven’t had surgery or medication so would be considered to be moping about. But i don’t know how i’m going to do it? The pain is minimal now but my head is a mess. Would it be wrong of me to see if the doctor would sign me off for one more week? :frowning:

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Dear seagull89,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss.

When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal

It is perfectly normal to search for answers as to why we experience ectopic pregnancy however often, no answer can be found.

We have information on reasons for ectopic pregnancy here-

https://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/rea … pregnancy/

Endometriosis is on the list however, it is not known why endometriosis increases your risk of ectopic pregnancy.

With regards to returning to work, it is worth bearing in mind that experiencing ectopic pregnancy is a very frightening experience and many women need to take time to help them deal with the psychological/emotional impact of the loss of their baby and being diagnosed with a life-threatening condition. I think if you are struggling at the thought of going back to work, it is perfectly acceptable to discuss this with you GP for additional time off.

The chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.

While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.

There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn’t our fault.

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?

Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk

Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.

Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.