PTSD following ectopic pregnancy

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1

Hello everyone. It’d just over a year after my ectopic pregnancy and my goodness, it’s been a horrible year :frowning: it’s not to scare you, it’s just to confirm that don’t worry if you’re having a hard time- it is hard for all of us but I am still here.

Anyway, I recently and only after a great deal of fight and trouble learned something that I thought may be useful to others and I think its slightly scandalous that this is not better recognised by the NHS. After a horrible year of shouting and crying and shaking and not sleeping and being afraid and angry all the time, I have finally received a (tentative) diagnosis of PTSD, which feels right to me and it has been a big relief. It has been a very very hard road to get to this point, my husband and I have split up for example, so I dearly wish someone had picked up on it sooner.

So I wanted to say to my sisters- if things don’t feel right, and you are having trouble moving on from what happened, please do whatever you can to speak to a counsellor about what you are feeling. I know how hard it is to access this and would highly recommend asking someone to help you through it because you will have to fight and fight. If you can possibly afford it, go private and speak to someone straight away- I dearly wish I had. I know in my experience the GP held me back from counselling for a long time, insisting what I needed was anti-depressants. I kept insisting I am not depressed but as usual the NHS does not listen to or respect women. If things don’t feel right, please try to get counselling.

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So sorry to hear of your experience. I had surgery 4 weeks ago for an ectopic in my left tube. I wasn’t even aware I was pregnant, let alone around 8 weeks. The whole experience was a complete shock and so traumatic. I was discharged without any information on what to expect when I got home.

I have two kids already and mostly they keep me busy. However it gets to night time and I just become a wreck. I can’t sleep. I am having to sleep on the sofa so I can fall asleep watching something. I have nightmares but rarely remember what they were about, I just wake up with a cold sweat and feeling terrified.

I am tempted to go to the doctors but I have seen a counsellor before when I was pregnant with my daughter as I suffered with anxiety. I ended up feeling so much worse after my 6 weeks with her that I ended up on medication. So scared to do it again but I can’t concentrate, I am soo tired. Just feel lost :frowning:

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Dear jennamarshall88,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,

When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experience anyone of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.

After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and symptoms can include anxiety and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. There are a number of avenues that you could look into to get the help that you need.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. I know you have tried counselling previously but it maybe worthwhile trying again with a different therapist. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

Given your history with anxiety, if your low days start to outweigh the good days, please do talk to you Dr.

There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn’t our fault.

We are all here for you,

Karen x

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?

Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk

Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.

Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.

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Thank you for the information. I will definitely have a browse through it all tomorrow.

I am very open with family and openly cry to close family about what has happened and how I feel. It definitely helps. But, I would never say this to them, but they don’t truly understand having never experienced it. They are supportive but they just don’t understand all the emotions that go with it. I love how everyone you speak to here has been through it and has their own story. But I know you all understand x