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Never thought I’d find myself here but here goes.

On 8th may I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. This came as a complete surprise to me as i didn’t even know I was pregnant. I only found out once at hospital in immense pain & in a very bad way. I had to have emergency surgery & a blood transfusion. I’m so grateful for all the hospital did but of course am in a state of shock & now uncertainty.

A little about me, I’m 33, I have PCOS, I have been off the pill for 2.5 years, and actively TTC for 13 months. I had a blood test a few months back that indicated I was not ovulating, this coupled with irregular & painful heavy periods led the GP to refer to gynaecology - after waiting 7 months I was due my appointment in April, but of course this was cancelled due to Covid-19.

Physically I think I’m recovering well from the surgery, I have 2 large wounds still, one is a little aggravated. I’m still sore to move at times, I hurt to lay on my front - is this normal? I don’t know what to expect? I’m 2weeks 5 days since surgery. I’m constantly tired too.

Mentally, I’m struggling. I’m in shock that I was pregnant, I’m annoyed I didn’t know but then grateful at the same time, I’m angry that this has happened, I’m angry this happened during covid & my partner couldn’t be with me in hospital, we went 4 days apart whilst I was in hospital when we should have been dealing with this together. I’m feeling lost in that I have no follow up, I’ve been told I’ll have an appointment to follow up but this could be 4months away, obviously the GP isn’t seeing people (I’m having a phone consultation tomorrow to discuss some of my feelings). I’m struggling to understand what happens next, how do we move on? Do we want to carry on TTC? My partner is very scared, things could have ended very differently. We dont know why this happened? And will it happen again? What does this mean for my fertility? I’m overweight, trying to lose weight, but would my weight have caused this?! What can I do to prevent this happening again?

I’ve rambled lots, this is the first time I’ve written things down, if anyone can give any kind words I’d really appreciate it.

Many thanks

2

Hi Archie86

You sound like I feel!!! So I’m guessing that’s ok & normal!!:woman_shrugging:t4:

I am 4weeks post op & still can’t lie on my front. I had surgery to remove my ectopic & my left tube - it was open surgery so one long scar.

It has healed fine but i still have pains & am tender & sore, I’m told 6 weeks is the recovery time so don’t rush anything with ur body For sure.

I haven’t been given any follow ups, it was very much get in & out of hospital so just waiting for my fertility appointment which was on hold cos of COVID.

Only thing I can say is ur not alone & it sounds like you needed to get it out so well done for doing that & keep doing it if it helps u.

Take care x

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Hi lovely,

I had my ectopic in January and I promise things will get easier, both physically and mentally. It took me till mid March to begin to feel like myself again. You must not blame yourself and just be open with your partner about how you both are feeling and coping.

Even though my surgery was before covid, I had no follow ups and it makes you feel a bit lost as you have just been through a traumatic experience and then you are left! I found these forums to be so useful and helpful throughout.

I was extremely tired and out of sorts for weeks but you must remember you have had major surgery and you are also dealing mentally with everything an ectopic brings. You are doing amazingly.

I had millions of questions for weeks after - Why me? What about the future? What does this all mean? But as time as gone on I have accepted it happened and that it wasn’t my fault and I’m ready to try again (although my husband is saying not until CV reduces even more!) Things do get better and easier. Just keep going and being strong but also know that it’s ok to feel down.

Don’t rush to do anything and just take your time healing!

If you want to ever talk I’m here!

Leah x

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Dear Archie86,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. To deal with this alone in hospital due to the civic crisis is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.

Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with.

You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.

The chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.

While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years. Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.

Above all be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve to heal both physically and emotionally,

We will be here for you for as long as you need,

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team

5

Thank you so much for your kind replies, its really nice to hear from others who have been through the same…although I wish none of us had been through it.

Your words have really helped me, thank you. I’ve also spoken to my GP surgery nurse regarding my wounds as was concerned about an infection. The nurse was able to order some reassurance about how I’m feeling physically. I’ve realised I’ve probably been expecting too much, I think it’s because on one hand my surgery feels like ages ago in some respects, but I’ve been using the last few days to appreciate that it was only 3 weeks ago today.

I’ve also spoken to the mental health practitioner at the surgery, as my mood was massively up & down this week, they were able to signpost me to some talking services. It did feel good to speak to someone.

I’m still signed off work so I’m going to use this week to really rest my body & mind & take some time to get my thoughts in line.

Thanks again for listening & your kindness. Positive vibes & wishes to you all x

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Evening Everyone,

well i can’t believe i’m sat here having to write a post about a ectopic pregnancy i had 3weeks ago but here is goes :frowning:

So today its the 3rd week since i had to make the awful decision one having to five up our baby that myself and husband had been trying for over 3years, yes it took that long i was on the depo contraception for 8years and well lets just say its left my body not great including it finding hard to conceive :frowning:

anyway we got caught and it was amazing news unfortunately i started having a bit of a bleed and had call doctors which they referred me to EPU at hospital to then be told i was having a ectopic pregnancy something id never experienced as ive got a health 8year old girl and had no previous problems.

i was given 2 options of the methotrexate injection or Surgery which i took the injection.

i’m currently going for blood tests each week for my HCG levels to go down was hoping today was my last one but unfortunately its still 18.5ml so have to return again next week with hope it would’ve gone to Negative.

So my main question to ask is i understand i cannot have unprotected sex for 3months because of the injection and how potent it is which is understandable.

However me and my husband want to get close again and wanted to check that protected sex would be ok with condoms??

My worry is the condom will split.

I’m really hoping someone can advise me on my questions and tell me things will be ok and sexual intercourse is on protected.

lots of love

Rachel xoxoxoxox

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Dear Rachel,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,

Condoms are a method of protection, so yes it is safe to have intercourse with them. Condoms are pretty sturdy (I have taught sex education in the past and you can actually get a condom over your foot without splitting it and you don’t need to be that careful about it). If however one does split you do have the option of emergency contraception.

Just for your information, the chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.

While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.

Importantly, help is available if conceiving naturally has not yet been successful after some time trying - and the EPT advises that women under 35 should seek medical advice following 12 months trying to conceive and those over 35 should seek advice after 6 months.

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team

8

Thank You For The Information Replied Back.

It’s Nice To See Others In The Same Situation And Hearing Other Peoples Stories And Experiences.

Just Because They Understand More Then Family If This Makes Sense.

Thank You

Xxx

9

Hello,

I’ve just joined the forum today and it’s really comforting to hear your stories and worries.

I hope it’s ok to tell mine:

Back in March, I was concerned with a number of ongoing symptoms (bloating, irregular bleeding, abdominal pain) and, after phoning my GP, and also adding I had had some catarrh and runny nose, was told I had Corona virus (!?!) and should self-isolate with my partner for 14 days. I questioned it but they said there were a lot of other symptoms (“just look online”… FYI, I couldn’t discover any other symptoms online besides the persistent cough and fever… both of which I DIDN’T have).

I relayed the discussion to my boyfriend, then my Mum and notified work that I was self-isolating due to medical advice but I realised this diagnosis didn’t sound right OR justify my symptoms of concern. Confused, I slept on it. In the morning, after some symptom-checking online, I took a pregnancy test (to rule it out!). The test was positive, such a huge shock! Especially since I had the coil fitted and wasn’t planning on getting pregnant at all.

I phoned the GP again and, thankfully, spoke to another Doctor. She immediately referred me for an early scan, booked the following morning. I spent all day in hospital, starting with a scan and blood tests, followed by the diagnosis of an ectopic pregnancy and then actual surgery. It was so surreal! I’m retrospectively grateful I didn’t have much time to dwell on any one part of the process and start panicking!

My Consultant suspected an ectopic pregnancy but couldn’t see any cells or ‘sac’. I had bruising, swelling and internal bleeding, hence the decision to have (explorative) surgery. I was allowed to see my boyfriend for an hour before surgery (due to Covid-19, I had been alone until this point). I was so grateful for this and frightened to bits.

The surgery went well. I went home the following afternoon. I had 4 weeks of bed-rest and discomfort but have recovered well. I’m fascinated by how neat the 3 scars are, but much of the time, catching sight of them makes me feel so sad.

I have suffered from bad anxiety and depression in the past so my emotional state was rocky anyway: since lockdown, I’ve been incredibly anxious about Corona virus but to go through this as well has shaken me massively.

Unlike some of you lovely people, before this experience, I was adamant I didn’t want children and wasn’t trying to conceive (my poor mental health has been a big factor underlying this decision) however I am a year into a relationship with a wonderful man and things are going so well, thoughts of a family “one day” have come into my mind. I know he’d make a fabulous Dad and I haven’t considered a baby with anyone else before.

I find it ironic how going through an ectopic pregnancy has reversed my opinions about ever becoming pregnant!

I think it is to do with the ability to decide, to have a choice is taken from you.

Unfortunately, now I am worried the coil may not be the right contraception for me. I’m scared of having another ectopic pregnancy and that I now only have 1 fallopian tube has intensified the pressure of ‘what if something goes wrong again?’. I don’t want to be unable to ever have children, even if I’m not considering them now (I really NEVER expected to say that!).

I knew very little about ectopic pregnancy before going through it myself. I’m sure it’s the same for many people.

I’m still very upset about it, but I am glad to have found support on this website :slight_smile:

It’s incredible what goes on in our bodies, even without us realising. Sadly I feel like I don’t trust my own body now.

I’d really appreciate any views from anyone.

Thank you.