My story

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1

We have a beautiful daughter who is 6 years old and have been trying for a second for over a year. I had some pain in my lower back to went to the doctors as I thought it was a UTI, well I had my UTI confirmed plus I was pregnant! Me and my husband were over the moon!

Two weeks later I woke in the middle of the night with horrific pains, I thought I was constipated but my stools were loose. I took paracetamol and managed to get back to sleep but the pain came back and woke me up. My husband begged me to call 111 which I did and was advised to go to hospital for an early scan to rule out an ectopic.

On arrival to hospital I was told 111 shouldn’t have sent me there and I was discharged being told I had trapped wind but if the EPU wanted to see me they would call me and she took bloods and off I went home. The EPU called me on my way home and said my HGC levels were very high and that means everything sounds good and it could be twins. They booked me in for a scan on the Tuesday (5 days after my hospital visit) I went to work on the Monday lifting children all day etc.

Tuesday morning we went for our scan, well I was in the EPU department for 15 mins before being prepped for surgery. All surgeries were cancelled so mine could be done and 45 mins after waking into the EPU I was kissing my husband goodbye as he left me at the theatre doors. I had a ruptured right ectopic and had my right tube removed plus a massive blood loss which resulted in s transfusion.

This was 6 weeks ago, i feel I’m healed physically but emotionally I’m a mess.

Sending all you ladies lots of love xxxx

2

Hi R Foster,

I am so sorry that you have had this experience. Suffering from an ectopic pregnancy and loss is difficult enough, let alone the delay in diagnosis. Your surgery is still very recent. It’s important for you to remember that there was nothing you did to cause nor nothing that could have prevented an ectopic pregnancy. Many women experience a mix of feelings and this can include grief, hurt at loss and anger. Trying not to blame yourself is important, as it is no fault of yours, and nothing sadly could have been done from stopping the ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage from happening.

Physical recovery is often quicker than our emotional recovery. We operate a helpline service, and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely, and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too if you prefer that route.

Also, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help, and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services. The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

No matter what, we are here for you whenever you need us. Please know you are not alone and take all the time you need to look after yourself and recover. We are here for you whenever you want to talk.

With good wishes,

Michele

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

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