Good afternoon all
I just wanted to say hi as I’m new to this forum. I had an EP last month and was treated with one dose of Methotrexate on 18/11. It was my first pregnancy.
Here’s my story:
After experiencing severe lower abdominal pain with some shoulder tip pain towards the end of October, I went to my GP who diagnosed IBS-like symptoms and prescribed anti-spasmodic tablets. The symptoms improved that day, but the following day and night I was doubled up in pain and unable to sleep for long as every time I moved, the pain in my shoulder woke me up. The day after however, I was fine and so did not return to my GP.
My GP had done a urine test but I’m really not sure what was tested for, as when I called for the results, I was just told that ‘everything’s ok’.
He did ask me if I could be pregnant but I didn’t think I was, as I’d had what I thought was a period at the beginning of October, round about the time I had expected my period.
To be honest, my husband and I have been going through a really rough patch for the last few months, (He’s currently trying to decide what he wants, and whether I am included.) and the sex has been limited and very infrequent, so I had assumed that I wasn’t pregnant. I also wasn’t paying much attention to me and assumed that whatever was wrong with me was due to stress.
Anyway, when my period failed to arrive in November, I did a pregnancy test after a week or so (I’m usually regular as clockwork), which showed up positive. This came as a shock to us both. So much so that my husband questioned whether it was his or not. (Not particularly helpful as he’s the one trying to choose between two people.)
Something didn’t feel right however, and I was concerned about the abdominal and shoulder tip pain I’d experienced, especially as a friend had suffered an ectopic pregnancy a few weeks earlier. I called the practice nurse for reassurance the following day (Friday) and she made me an appointment with a GP for the Monday.
However, on the Sunday afternoon whilst out with friends, I started to bleed. Quite lightly at first, but then by the time I got to the doctors on Monday, it was beginning to get heavier.
The GP (not my normal one) said that she didn’t think it would be an ectopic as I would not be there if that was the case, but didn’t think there would be a pregnancy at the end of things, and referred me to the EPU to have a scan on the Wednesday morning.
I went back to work that afternoon and tried to carry on as normal. I had intended to go to work on the Tuesday but was exhausted, bleeding even more heavily (bright red blood with clots) by then but in no real pain, so stayed at home all day and waited for my husband to come home (he works away during the week and had decided that he should be with me for the scan).
We went to the EPU at the hospital for the scan on the Wednesday. I was expecting them not to find anything and so when they did an transvaginal (not sure of terminology here) scan and found nothing in the uterus, I wasn’t surprised. I was quite surprised when they found ‘something’ towards the right side of the uterus which they suspected to be an EP. We were then seen by a consultant who admitted me to hospital to have the blood test at 48 hour intervals to try and clarify the diagnosis.
So, there I was, in hospital all of a sudden, feeling like a bit of a fraud as I was physically fine as far as I was concerned. The bleeding had stopped by the following day and I wasn’t in any pain at all.
My initial HCG level was 718 (I think I was between 6-8 weeks pregnant but I’m not sure) and rose to 757 48 hours later, and EP was diagnosed.
I was offered a choice between laparoscopy and Methotrexate and chose the latter. I figured it would be less risky. I didn’t take long to think about it and made the decision on my own, but really wanted to avoid surgery. My husband wasn’t around at that point and I didn’t want to delay things any further by deliberating. I was desperate to escape home by then!
That was the Saturday afternoon. I was given the injection on Saturday evening and eventually allowed home on Sunday morning.
I went back for the next blood test on the Thursday when my HCG level had dropped to 571. The following day, I started to bleed and that continued for 3 days until the Sunday evening. I wasn’t in any pain, just bleeding. The next test on the Monday revealed that my level had dropped to 307 and I was asked to have another test a week later. I did, and my level was 115. I had my final test 2 days ago and the level dropped to 4.
I’ve started bleeding again today. Not really heavy and no clotting so I’m just going to wait and see what happens with that.
Whilst I’m relieved that the immediate physical issue appears to have been resolved, I get the feeling that this was the easy part. The hard part will be getting my head round all this.
Finding this messageboard yesterday has been great, I feel a lot less negative.
I had been more or less ok whilst I could think of things in purely medical terms, as a problem that needed to be solved. Now that it has (at least for now, I’m not sure what, if anything, is going on inside that I can’t see!) I’ve got less of a handle on things.
The situation with my husband doesn’t help. I don’t think he’s really stopped to think about it all. He’s recovering from 2 operations on his leg in the last 3 months and still can’t walk properly or drive and so has his own physical issues, nevermind the mid-life crisis he seems to be going through.
I need him to understand that I’m not ‘better’ all of a sudden just because my HCG levels are back to normal.
I’ve forwarded the link to the Miscarriage Association website and sent him a couple of leaflets and asked him to read and try and understand. I’m not sure if he will, but at least I’ve tried.
For a long time I said that I didn’t want children. I was adamant. But then, I didn’t want to get married either. Both of these were me saving face I think (possibly preventatively) as when I found my Mr Right, I wanted to do both. We married last year and although we said we both wanted children, weren’t actively trying. I had come off the pill after about 13 years and it has taken time for my body to re-adjust. I had started to study again last year and worked really hard. When I finished my exams in summer, I realised that I really wanted to try for a family sooner rather than later. 3 months later, I fell pregnant without realising it. Now I look back, I can see the tell-tale signs that I missed though.
I’m now scared that I won’t be able to conceive again. I’m scared that if I do, I won’t be able to carry it full term. I’m scared that there are things wrong with me that I don’t know about. I’m also scared that my husband is going to leave me and that at nearly 32, I won’t get the chance to have a family after all.
I’m just plain scared.
I’m also really sad about the fact that this baby hasn’t survived. Wrong place, wrong time I suppose.
My husband was made redundant earlier this year on the same day that my aunt, to whom I was extremely close, died. My husband found another job after a couple of months, but that means him working away during the week. He also had to have another couple of months off work because of his operations on his leg. (caused by an accident, so that wasn’t planned either)
I’m usually a fairly strong person, good at putting a brave face on things, but this year has about done for me. The cracks are beginning to show and I need support. My mum is being great, as are my friends but I needed to get the whole thing out I think. Hence this rather lengthy post for which I apologise.
Still, going to go home now, and going to the cinema with the girls this evening to see a chick flick, so that’s something to look forward to.
Thanks for reading (if anyone has got this far).
I feel for everyone here, and reading your posts has helped me immensely over the last 2 days. I’ll be back!
Hannah