Hi all,
I’m so glad to have found these forums which have already offered me a lot of comfort to read other’s stories and know I’m not alone.
I’ll try to keep it brief but this is my experience so far.
I’ve been with my husband for 6.5 years married 1.5 and we’re very happy together. We didn’t think we wanted children but last year when I turned 30 (he’s 28) we decided that we did in fact want them and began trying in October. In March I finally got the positive result but started with bleeding and pain the same day. I had a scan at EPU which confirmed I had miscarried at 5+5. This was an incredibly hard time, I got an infection shortly afterwards and was very ill as well as the emotional and physical trauma of the mc itself.
It took a good few months for my cycle to regulate again and for me to feel ‘ready’ but at the end of June we decided to try again and were shocked and delighted when we got pregnant straight away. We told family and a few close friends and had begun to plan things tentatively, feeling cautiously optimistic mainly because I was getting a lot of pregnancy symptoms whereas last time I had no symptoms other than missed period. All was going well until I was 5+3 when I started with some red bleeding and minor cramps in the left hand side. I saw my GP who suspected ectopic and sent me to the EPU. I had a horrible experience with a nasty consultant (but that’s another story) and he dismissed my pain as ‘bowel pain’ and sent me away. Scan that day showed a small gestational sac in the womb. I had bloods done that day and was told to come back every 2 days for more bloods which I did. HCG was going up by around 63% every 48 hours so I was told to have another scan this Monday which would have been a week since I first presented. During this week I was spotting on and off sometimes heavier and sometimes barely anything.
The scan sadly showed nothing in the womb and a 12mm mass near my left ovary. A nice doctor spoke to me and discussed the options and we opted for seeing if my body would naturally do it’s thing. Sadly she rang me that evening to say my HCG had risen to 1600 so I had the choice of medical management with methotrexate or surgery and she would recommend the methotrexate. I was booked in for Tuesday morning. That night I started with horrendous pain in my left hand side, lots of red bleeding and pain in my leg, shakiness etc. My husband took me to A&E and I was in a bad way emotionally but they refused to let him stay due to covid so I opted to come home as I didn’t want to stay on my own and felt overwhelmed with pain and panic. Silly decision I know but I have severe anxiety that sometimes drives my fight or flight into decisions that aren’t always best for me.
Luckily by morning the pain had gone and I attended the EPU and had my injection about 3 hours after I arrived. I was sent straight home with no monitoring and a very small and vague piece of paper that didn’t really tell me what to expect. I’m to go back on day 4 and day 7 for bloods and every week after that until the HCG levels have dropped as I think is standard procedure anyway.
The reason really for me posting as well as the cathartic benefits of writing it all down somewhere where people actually understand and don’t say things like ‘well at least it stuck this time even if it was in the wrong place’ (SIL) or ‘just keep trying it will happen for you guys one day’ (more or less everyone else) is that I am quite afraid of rupture, I don’t even know if it’s in my tube as they kept saying the mass was on my ovary, but then when surgery was discussed they talked about removing my tube, I feel frightened that I might end up needing surgery as I have never had surgery for anything or been under anaesthetic before. I’ve been having a lot of pain in that left side all afternoon it does seem to ease when I go to the toilet (to open bowels) and if I pass wind (sorry TMI) so I’m not sure if it is trapped wind/a bit of constipation putting pressure on the area with it being left sided. I don’t want to be admitted to hospital Unnecessarily as I have a severe allergy to peanuts & tree nuts and they won’t cater for me and with covid hubby can’t bring me food so staying in hospital is a really crappy and hungry experience for me! So I guess I’m just wondering if it’s normal to experience pain even after the injection or as soon as the day after? It’s very similar to the pain on Monday night and that did eventually go away on its own. I just have no idea what to expect because nobody really talked it through with me beyond saying I might have sickness or an upset tummy which I haven’t had either of.
they were 1659 on Monday, I had the methotrexate on Tuesday and today they are 2780 so now I feel scared and bewildered again.