My first pregnancy being ectopic...what to do next

Preparing For Your Next Pregnancy
1

Dear all,

I’m 31 and with my partner we were all over the moon when found out we were expecting our first baby.

My sister is pregnant with twins and my due date came out to be my dads Birthday. It was a perfect timing in every way possible.

We were so excited and happy that I couldn’t even see the symptoms.

Now looking back I feel stupid (but lucky) I haven’t realised I was in danger.

I was 8 weeks and 3 days pregnant when came to the hospital and I had to have surgery the same evening with a live ectopic pregnancy.

I lost my left fallopian tube and recovering now at home.

Looking back I didn’t bleed at all throughout the 8 weeks I was pregnant and I wasn’t in pain until the day I started to have terrible cramps and bowel cramps.

My first appoitment in the hospital with midwife was on the 26/11 and my operation was the day prior.

It’s hard to deal with such loss especially having all the baby craze at work everyone expecting, I even have a colleague who got pregnant exactly the time I did.

Of course I’m terrified about another ectopic pregnancy but at the same time I would love to try as soon as possible.

I read so much about this and I’d like to be positive, looking forward and cannot wait for our little miracle to be on a way.

I have couple of questions.

I’ve been taking the pregnancy vitamins which I obviously stopped as I’m no longer pregnant but I also have 2 boxes of the ones that are for the time when you try to conceive. When can I start to take the vitamins again to prepare my body?

Im less than a week after surgery and will wait at least 3 months before trying but the vitamins are recommended 3 months before trying to conceive anyway. Can I take them now? Folic acid?

They cant do any harm can they?

I do believe everyone can have a healthy pregnancy after an ectopic and found out it’s more common recently and there are definitely people around you who have experienced the same, most of them having a child already so dont give up. I wont either.

Everything happens for reason and it probably wasn’t meant to be this time.

As much as its fresh, emotional and difficult time I’m being hopeful and look forward the future.

Thank you for this forum, it’s very supportive and helpful.

Valerie

2

Hi Valerie

Sorry to hear your about your ectopic. I actually had a very similar experience in July and I am still emotionally finding it very difficult to recover. I also found out with my partner that we were pregnant for the first time and we were completely over the moon. We found out the day of our 1 year wedding anniversary and were in Greece on holiday at the time, everything felt so perfect. Until 1 day when I got the cramps like you said and the next thing I knew I was being rushed into theatre to have my tube removed. I’ve also found it particularly hard as my sister and close colleague got pregnant at the same time and are now due in March the week that our baby was due. Im really trying to be strong but the emotional pain won’t go away as it’s all around me all the time and is a constant reminder.

It sounds like you have just had the surgery. I wish you much better soon. I found that within 3 weeks of the surgery I was feeling much stronger. I started taking wild nutrition fertility vitamins straight away… I don’t think there’s any harm in doing that as soon as you can so your body can get stronger.

I feel sad all the time now and am trying to be positive but it’s hard. Wishing you and your partner lots of strength, I know what you’re going through.

3

Thank you for your reply Anastasia. So sorry to hear about your loss too.

I replied to your message earlier but after submitting it disappeared.

I read a lot about ectopic and there are terrible stories with women having to go through mild chemotherapy, methotrexate injections leaving them with a damaged fallopian tube; experience heart attack and lose their life when their ectopic goes unnoticed or due to internal bleeding their uterus being damaged to the point they cannot carry a baby in the future. Its devastating.

In this nightmare I do feel we are pretty lucky for being here and for my damaged tube to be removed with no further complication. I look forward the future and strongly believe I can have a healthy pregnancy very soon. I’m sure you can have too and thinking of you. Best of luck.

Valerie

4

Dear Husika18,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,

When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.

The chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.

While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.

It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We experience a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget but we can learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process that might be weeks or months ahead. In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.

Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.

As a gentle reminder regarding conceiving again, we and many medical professionals advise waiting for two menstrual cycles. It is important to allow time for your body to recover and emotions to surface and be worked through. This is so that you have some comfort that your body is returning to its natural rhythm and you have a last menstrual period date from which to date a new pregnancy - key information in checking you are not suffering from an ectopic pregnancy in the future. The first bleed soon after surgery for ectopic pregnancy is not classed as a period as it is the body’s response to falling hormone levels. If you have not had methotrexate injection, you can start folic acid supplements or pre pregnancy supplements at any time.

Sending much love,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

The latest EPT newsletter is out now! You can take a look at the Winter edition and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team

5

Thank you Karen for your reply.

I will start my vitamins now and look forward for my body to return to it’s normal self.

This is the 6th day after my surgery and I feel much better. My bleeding is lighter and I feel the recovery being quick and I feel stronger every day.

Cannot wait for my normal period to restart so I can track my body functioning properly and prepare for pregnancy.

Valerie

6

Hi Valerie,

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss and traumatic experience. I’m less than a week after my first ectopic pregnancy surgery and left tube removed. I’m desperately terrified to try again and scared to go outside to see pregnant women, I’ve got flashbacks and nightmares.

How do you manage to find hope and strength to try again? I feel like I’m a loop which I can’t escape from.

Sending love,

Natacha

7

Dear Natacha,

The feelings you describe are very understandable. You have had so much to process in a very small timeframe - the ordeal of diagnosis, surgical treatment, losing a pregnancy and concerns about the future. Any one of these is hard to contend with and putting it all together is immense. After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and symptoms can include anxiety, flashbacks and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. There are a number of avenues that you could look into to get the help that you need and if your emotions are worsening and stopping you from doing everyday things like going outside, I would urge you to speak to someone about how you are feeling.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

Sending much love and warm hugs,

Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

The latest EPT newsletter is out now! You can take a look at the Winter edition and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team

8

Thank you Karen - I will make sure to email or call in the next few days. I’m so grateful thank you x

9

Hi please stay positive I had my left tube removed last Oct and currently I have a 10 week old. I also ovulated from my left with him. Keep taking your tablets I did.

10

Hi nd2626,

Which tablets are you referring to?

11

Hi Natacha,

It’s the beginning of January and I finally got my first period after the surgery. Whohoo. I’ve been so excited for this day to come and looking forward to the future.

It’s not easy to move on from what we’ve been through but a loving and caring husband and a positive approach go a long way.

We learn to be grateful for the little things. Always be happy for whatever life throws at you.

I’m happy to be alive, I’m happy I had a surgery and removed my damaged fallopian tube (rather than treat me with methotrexate and leave me with a damaged tube), and I am happy through surgery they managed to see my other fallopian tube and confirm its healthy and there are no problems with it. I’m most grateful for the fact that there are so many couples who struggle to conceive naturally (including my sister) and we were lucky enough to be able to conceive a baby. This is a big deal and I’m really grateful for this.

There is a new documentary on Netflix EXPLAINED- SEX and they talk about fertility, ect. worth to watch.

Take all the time you need to heal. I’m surrounded with colleagues who are pregnant and their wifes are expecting and I’m really happy for them. I know I will join them very shortly. All we got is some extra time without a baby that we should all enjoy and embrace.

Good luck on your journey and try to look at your situation from a positive side, ignore all the bad…

Best

Valerie