I had an ectopic pregnancy in June of this year it was my first pregnancy and me and my partner had been trying to conceive for 2 years prior. I’m back at work now and my family don’t talk about what happened I think they don’t want to bring it up with me for fear of upsettting me or they think I’m ok. On the surface life has gone back to normal I go to work everyday, walk the dog, cook, clean etc but deep down I’m not ok whenever I think about what happened my eyes fill up and I just feel so down and sad. Things have got stressful at work recently and I’ve been crying at work because I can’t cope with the stress and pressure. I feel like I need some help but don’t know where to go or what to say. Does anyone else feel like this? X
I feel your pain…first pregnancy ectopic and tube removed this October. Have attended my first psychotherapy session last week…attending another this week. I think I might need medication to cope but trying to avoid that and starting with these sessions for now.
Hi I had an ectopic pregnancy back in march, had my right tube removed. I felt as if I was loosing the plot on some days, especially in the first 3 months! I was lucky enough to fall pregnant again after 3 months so I think that helped but I would have had my baby by now and I have been very teary this last few weeks even though I have tried not to think about it.
I do hope you have someone to talk to. My family would not let me talk about it and if I did my mil would pull the most awkward face, plus bil’s gf was expecting at the time so it was a extra kick in the teeth!! I’ve used my experience to reasses my life. If people were not there for me then, I have come to the conclusion that they are not real friends. I had support from the oddest of people! I get so angry when I think of the lack of support I was shown from some, not even a text message while I was in hospital. Sod them!!
I understand the heartbreak with struggling to get pregnant. I have another son who I had trouble conceiving. Plus it seems that everyone around you is getting pregnant!! It was so bad at one time I remember my old manager (a gay male) asking me if he could have a word and I just said please don’t tell me your pregnant!!
I know it doesn’t feel like it but your time will come, talking to a doctor or professional will help. I spoke to one girl who had a late miscarriage years before and just told her that I was feeling like I was loosing it and she said it’s ok to feel bad what you want through was rubbish. That helped me!! Just someone saying that.
Take comfort in the fact that you might offer a woman a few words one day and will bring her back from the brink!
Take care xx
Just a big hug to offer here… I rang the number on the counselling leaflet I was given. 18 week waiting list! Worth asking the unit that treated you if there’s something xc
Dear Sunshinewalk88,
The feelings you describe are very understandable. You have had so much to process in a very small timeframe - the ordeal of diagnosis, treatment, losing a pregnancy and concerns about the future. Any one of these is hard to contend with and putting it all together is immense. After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and symptoms can include anxiety and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. There are a number of avenues that you could look into to get the help that you need.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We’ll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
We are all here for you.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at http://www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
Thank you to everybody that has taken the time to reply back to me I do really appreciate it.
Karen - thank you for the link to Mind - would you suggest I email / ring them and explain what’s happened and see what they can do? Sorry for asking such an obvious question but I’ve never had to ask for any help like this before so it feels completely out of the ordinary for me. Thanks xx