I feel robbed of a beautiful dream

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Hi

I have recently had surgery due to an eptopic pregnancy and although it was the size of a poppy seed im overwhelmed with grief at the thought of what it could have been. I try not to think about it but it was still my baby and a part of me. I said goodbye just before I went into surgery placing my hand where it sadly got stuck which I know sounds silly but it was the only time I was able to hold it in a way. I want to stay positive for the future but I’m scared this will change the person I am and ruin my marriage. My husband has been so wonderful and I know he’s hurting too but I just want to feel normal again.

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Hi Sarah,

I’m so very sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. It can be a very confusing time and brings up so many emotions which we may not have expected. You have suffered physical and emotional trauma, and right now, it is so important to look after yourself. There is no standard recovery process, as each of us is unique, however as you’ve read these boards are full of men and women who understand the challenges of ectopic pregnancies.

It’s important to remember that there is nothing you did to cause or could have done to stop an ectopic pregnancy. Right now, the most important thing to do is to look after yourself. There is no set recovery or set timeframe for recovery. As every women is unique, we all process it in different ways. Some days are better and some days are harder. Over time, the initial feelings may fade, but we don’t forget. Your well-being is the most important thing right now.

I found that journaling was a way for me to get my thoughts onto paper, helping me to make sense of my emotions and to share them with friends and family. The Trust also believes that talking therapies can be of great help. You may want to speak to your GP for a referral and a look into counselling or to contact your local Mind centres. We can also arrange for you to speak to someone on our helpline at the number below. Many find it of comfort to speak to someone who has been through same thing and we can support you alongside the counseling. You will also find more information for support on our website: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/

Please know that these boards are here for you, any time, to share or to vent for as long as you need.

With good wishes,

Michele

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

Registered Charity Number: 1071811

Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.

If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?

Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk

Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk

We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653

Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters

Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team