I suffered an eptopic last month and I would like to ttc again once I’ve had 2 cycles however my partner says he’s unsure whether her wants to try again. My tube ruptured and I was rushed in for emergency surgery and he’s scared of it happening again. We do have a daughter already which I think makes him feel that we don’t need to risk trying again. I’m not sure but it’s making me feel a little in limbo. Has anyone else experience this or have any advice?
Dear Nicolao9,
From my personal experience, my husband handled our ectopic pregnancy very different from myself. I was obviously devastated at the loss of our baby where as he was concerned about me. He has openly said that as it was early in our pregnancy, he didn’t see me as baby as it was too early to be developed. Having never heard of ectopic pregnancy, he had researched it whilst I was in hospital and of course the websites mentioned that it could be life threatening, so he was very concerned about my health.
On trying again, he was very concerned but I set to reassure him by informing him that following ectopic pregnancy, it is advised to have an early pregnancy scan at around 6 weeks with all subsequent pregnancies. Being under medical care at an early stage may also reassure your partner.
Also inform him that the chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that’s 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.
Importantly keep an open dialogue with your partner and fully discuss his fears and concerns so you can work through them together.
We have a ‘Mens Space’ board and have two excellent posts of ectopic pregnancy from a mans prospective which I would advise ready as it may help you understand how he is feeling.
Sending much love,
Karen x
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Thank you Karen, it’s reassuring to hear that other people’s partners also felt this way. My husband too never felt grief for the baby as for him it was too early as he hasn’t seen a scan and was just so worried about me. Thank you for the advice and dialogue, I will make sure we continue to talk and i just need to remind myself that it’s a decision we need to make together x