Im 33 and had an ectopic pregnancy just before Christmas which was a pretty tricky time to be happy. I had my right tube removed. We were hoping to be giving good news to our family and friends not this
I’ve had such a roller coaster of emotions wanting desperately to try to not wanting to go through it again. We’ve currently decided to wait another couple of months so we can be stronger.
The main thing I struggle with is comments by others. I know this can’t be helped and they have no idea what we’ve been through but I find it difficult to manage.
Why don’t you have kids yet? Everyone’s pregnant atm, people I know due at the same time I would have been. Im sat in the hairdressers where the conversation is all about children! I’m driving myself crazy. Anyone else have this or any advice please? Thank you xx
Hi millie, im so sorry to hear what you are going through. I had a cornual eptopic last June I know exactly how you feel, everyone around me is becoming pregnant so quickly and I have been trying for six months now. In regards to people talking about you having baby’s or about them becoming pregnant it becomes easier each time, time is the only healer. It does get easier I promise. X
Hi Millie, I know how u feel. I found out I was pregnant on 22nd December which was a big shock for me and my boyfriend, as it was only on the 15th December that my doctor told us that I had an extremely small chance of getting pregnant after running some tests. At the same time I found out I was pregnant, my best friend told me she had just found out she was pregnant as well. I was so happy that I thought we can share experiences and that but unfortunately my pregnancy was ectopic and had to be removed. Now some times I find it hard to see my friend and see how big she is getting and thinking that should be me, not her after all she already has 7 kids and this should of been my first baby. I have mixed feelings at the moment but at the end of the day she’s my best friend and like a sister to me and she was there for me and my boyfriend through everything that has happened and I know one day soon it will be my turn to be the proud mam of a lovely bundle of joy. Her and her kids are part of my family and I love them all to bits. Even if I don’t have kids of my own, I know that I will always have her and her kids.
I also had a right tubal removal start of the year following ectopic discovery at around 6 weeks. Since then three best friends have fallen pregnant. I won’t lie I cried each time I found out which made me feel really selfish.
I’m trying to tell myself that there are not a limited amount of babies and what happens to others in teems of pregnancy has no bearing on my ability to conceive in the future.
I think it’s one of them things where you notice it around you more.
Thanx ladies, I know what your saying. I’m so happy for my friends that have become pregnant but also found myself crying each time too, wondering why not me? It’s so annoying I don’t want to be like it.
Guess we’re always going to have that feeling of I could be 12 weeks, 20weeks, due. I hope it will all come to us one day X
I’m just having all of this now. I felt like I was so strong and dealt with everything that happened for me last oct/Nov and now we can just try again and suddenly like 4 of my friends have announced that they are pregnant! And although I am happy for them I have had a cry each time ( in private) and then felt so guilty afterwards for being upset thinking I am
Being horrible and selfish!
Then u get people saying oh it’ll be u next! And I’m like it was before but you don’t know about it and stop talking about it please in my head as out loud I’m saying well you never know and planting a smile!
I so know how you feel. I think the hardest part is that people don’t talk about ectopic or miscarriage more broadly and the silence adds to the pain. People shouldn’t make casual remarks because they don’t know the private battles going on - I like you want to tell people to shut up or give them the grizzly truth and really shut them up!!
For me it hasn’t been a linear coping process - like you I felt like I dealt with things well to start with and was relieved to still be here but I have found that with trying again comes the monthly reminder that it’s not going to be as easy for us.
We will get there though and it will hopefully be all the sweeter because of this x
