Hi there,
I’ve been on here for a while now but felt it was time to post my story too after reading some of my very good cyber sisters stories today.
My DP and I decided to start TTC in November 2006. I had just come off the pill but the nurse and doctor told me it was fine to start TTC immediately and infact suggested I might be more fertile immediately after coming off the pill. So we went for it straight away. Just before Christmas I began getting some pains in my pelvis but didn’t think anything of it. I went to lots of parties and ate and drunk loads! At one party in particular I remember getting quite drunk and feeling that my tights were very uncomfortable round my pelvis. On Boxing Day I suddenly thought that I shouldn’t be drinking so much if I was trying for a baby and decided to take a test just to check before the next party and low and behold it came back positive!!! I called my DP and he came home straight away. Whilst he was driving home I began to think about the pain that had been gradually increasing over the last week or so and it suddenly clicked. My Sis-in-Law had an EP and we had discussed it at great length, she spoke of a pain that circled round her hips. I called the doctor immediately and she saw me an hour later. She refered me to the Gynae ward and we began a series of blood tests. The first one confirmed the pregnancy, the second confirmed the baby was growing normally so we were released from hospital care. In the New Year I began to spot a brown “prune juice” liquid. I called my Sis-in-law and she said that this wasn’t a good sign and that I must call the hospital again. I didn’t want to, I wanted it to be OK but I did call. We had some more tests, scans and an endometrial biopsy eventually proved the pregnancy had never been in my uterus. I was given one shot of MTX and my levels fell. I was left exhausted, confused and felt very much to blame for the situation. That I had somehow caused it by drinking whilst TTC or may be for trying whilst coming of the pill. Through this site I now know that I could not have caused this situation and that has given me some peace. I thank you all for the unconditional support you gave me during this time.
We decided to TTC again in May 2007 and after a few crazy months we got a BFP in August 2007, very quick I guess but felt like forever for me. I was terrified, my doctor had promised me an early scan but due to a mix up the hospital refused. I wrote to the head of Obs and Gyn to question their policy and was relieve to evetually get a scan a few weeks later that showed the heartbeat in the right place. I have to say that I didn’t enjoy the early part of my pregnancy at all, I was very worried and also couldn’t not get it into my head that this was going to work out. Even when my lovely DD arrived safely on 3rd April 2008 I still was in shock that we had managed to do this. It took me a good two weeks to relax and believe that she was here for good. If I could have those two weeks over I would just kiss and cuddle and hold her rather than watch her from a safe distance which is what I did. I was scared to get attached to her. It wasn’t until DP went back to work and I was on my own with her that I finally began to bond with her and enjoy our time together. I guess that is a legacy of an EP, I can’t get those 2 weeks again but I have the rest of my life to cuddle her and tell her how loved she is.
Thanks for reading my story, I wish you all the love and luck in the world and can’t thank you enough for this site and the lovely people on it.
With much love,
Em xxx