These words were given to me after my wonderful dad passed away and I think they are relevant to my lost angels too. I carry the card around wherever I am. I hope they bring you hope too.
A smile for all, a heart of gold, the very best the world could hold. Those we love don’t go away. They walk beside us every day.
Lots of love to all.
Hi Jules
Thank you so much for that. Half the time I log on here, it is to read messages, letters etc about ectopic babies lost, as happened to me. But when I saw that this was really dedicated to your dad, it touched me so much. I lost my dad at the turn of 2000, and still today, there is barely a day goes by without a thought for him.
Your quote is beautiful, so beautiful, and fits my wonderful dad also to a tee.
Thank you so much.
Love, Caroline.
Hi Caroline,
Thanks for your words. My dad, apart from my DH, was the one person who helped me cope when I thought all else had ended following my ectopics. Unfortunately he left us too early but I like to think that the words given to me were meant for all the babies I lost too, who are now in heaven where their grandad can look after them and protect them for me.
Love to you and take good care of yourself honey. xx
Hi again Jules
Thank you so much for your reply. You feel exactly the same as I do about our fathers being there now, in place to take care of our ectopic babies.
I lost my mum too, but that was many many years ago, when I was 13, and I always feel so dreadfully sad that she was taken so early, she was never even given the opportunity to be Grandma/Nana to any of my children.
My dad at least had 5 years with 2 of my babies, but he was taken, suddenly, before the last two arrived.
I have built up this lovely vision in my head now of Mum and Dad now being back together, and together in partnership, they are there bringing up, loving and caring for, my little ectopic baby, and in my mind, mum has now had the chance to experience being ‘grandma’.
I hope and pray things ARE like that, but I believe they are.
Much love to you, thinking of you, and hey, who knows, our dads might just have met up now mightn’t they …
Take care Jules. Caroline.
Hi Caroline,
I could resist in replying to your second post as what you said is so like me. I would love to think that my dad is up there being grandad and has made a lot of new friends, your parents included I hope. Like you I only used to check the messages and have only been around on the internet site for the last few years although my last ep was some 10 years ago. In those days there was no support network (my first was 16 years ago) but then I read a small article about a new charity back in 1998 and have been involved very much in the background since then. I did post a couple of poems on the old board but have struggled to find the right words for here until I remembered these very poignant ones.
I was never lucky enough to have any children after my ectopics which totalled three but have found love and joy in a very special person, my no 18 year old god-daughter. She is so thoughtful and loving and even sent me a mothers day card which reduced me to tears. She does not have a particularly good relationship with her own mum and looks at me and DH as substitute parents. In fact we were talking the other day about when she has children of her own and she has asked that we be grandparents to them.
Anyway, my darling, thank you for your kindness. I feel that I have found another kindred spirit in you. Much love and hope to you.
Jules xx
Hi Jules
I can see this being an ongoing thing then between you and I, I think some people are just sort of on a similar wave length aren’t they!!
I am so, so sorry that you have been through so much, so much loss, heartbreak, shock no doubt, and disappointment over the years. I did feel unsure as to whether or not to mention that I had children (and the number of them), and of course I do FULLY appreciate that although I have had to endure 3 main losses in Mum, Dad and EP baby, that overall, I have been extremely fortunate.
But I also read in your Who’s Who that you feel you are a happy, healthy, well adjusted individual who has coped and accepted the best way you can to being denied something you had wanted so much.
I DO count my blessings in my children each day, I can promise you that. I never, ever take them for granted, which I think IS what stems from suffering a few acute losses don’t you. Makes you so much more appreciative of what IS here.
You are an amazing person to have been able to endure all that you have, and still come across as such a positive, fortunate and optimistic soul, who is so very obviously loved by many special people, your Goddaughter to name one.
For you and Tony to be asked to ‘be grandparents’ in the future, is an incredible honour and a beautiful gesture, and is concrete evidence (not that you needed evidence of any sort) of the love and respect that is felt for you (both) by this young girl. You should be so proud of yourself Jules.
You and I are the same age now, you must have been a '64 baby too or thereabouts. My EP was only Sept 2003, will never, ever be forgotten, but as I’m sure you can appreciate, as mum to 4, aged from 11 years down to 1 year, time itself prevents me from brooding on things too deeply now. Just have to get up, and get on don’t you.
You have been so very, very unlucky in not being given the gift of being allowed to carry your babies to term and share your life onwards with them. That makes you all the more incredible in your ability to have remained so positive.
You would have been such a fantastic mummy, I take my hat off to you.
‘Rural field in Staffordshire’ sounds interesting … would like to hear more … !
Lots of love
Caroline
Oh Caroline, I can’t believe we have come so far in such a short space of time. I think there is so much there left to be said. I just logged in again before I make my way home from work and saw another response so had to take five to respond back again as I don’t think I will be around much this weekend.
I am a '65 baby, married to Tony for 17 years and as you now know no children. My dad died in 1999 following a very long illness and I miss him incredibly.
My ‘field’ is just outside a small village 9 miles from Stafford/7 miles from Junction 14 of the M6. We are extremely remote and it is wonderful. My hubby is a farmworker and I work in local government - not at all glamorous.
How about you? North east - whereabouts? I have a very good friend lives just outside Stokesley, North Yorkshire. Second to Cornwall this is a favourite part of the country for me.
It is great that I have ‘met’ you on here and would love to know more about you.
Take care and if I don’t catch you over the weekend I’ll hear from you soon.
Jules xx