Going back to work following Ectopic

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1

Hi All,

Firstly what a great way to communicate with people going through the same thing. It really helps knowing you’re not the only one thinking/feeling certain things.

Bit of a background from me- been TTC for just over 2 years, fell pregnant (naturally) in November however unfortunately was diagnosed ectopic 3 weeks ago and had emergency surgery to remove my left Fallopian tube. The consultant who performed the surgery stated that my right tube looked damaged as well (even though all tests came back as normal previously).

I’ve had 3 weeks off work and am due back next week and wondered if anyone had any advice regarding this. I’ve felt a bit numb throughout it all and have a feeling going back to work will bring out all sorts of emotions.

It’s doesn’t help that I’m a Midwife either so I imagine it will be very difficult. :frowning:

So my questions really are about coping strategies at work?

How you dealt with managers/telling people?

Thank you x

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Dear Hope44,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,

Contemplating going back to work at four weeks post surgery does seem a little early.

Surgery is an immense ordeal for the body to go through. In general, after about six weeks, an employee should be able to return to most jobs from a physical point of view. However, as I imagine being a midwife involves manual handling, we suggest that it would be sensible to have a phased approach, gently building up to the usual extent of activity. I would suggest avoiding a rapid return to strenuous activities as it is important to build up strength after recovery.

A few options may be available depending on your role: might there be an opportunity to work reduced hours, increasing them slowly over a few weeks? Perhaps there are certain tasks that you could take on which may entail a change from your usual role or a series of reduced tasks initially? I am not sure whether this is appropriate in your circumstances, but it maybe worth discussing options with occupational health.

Many women experience pain after surgery and this can be the case weeks or months after the trauma. Pain is the body’s sign to rest and it is important to be guided by this and taking it easier if you experience discomfort.

In addition, it is worth bearing in mind that experiencing ectopic pregnancy is a very frightening experience and many women need to take time to help them deal with the psychological/emotional impact of the loss of their baby, being diagnosed with a life-threatening condition and undergoing major surgery. As you have rightly pointed out, the emotional impact may also be harder for you given your job.

If you feel you need further time off, which seems appropriate, I would discuss this with your GP who can organise a further sick note for you, then depending on how you feel and your specific role, it maybe worthwhile contacting your local occupational health department.

Please do be kind to yourself and allow time to recover both physically and emotionally.

Sending much love,

Karen x

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Dear Karen,

Thank you for replying so quickly.

The positive point about being a Midwife in this situation is that I have a lot of support and my colleagues that do know about my situation have been very supportive.

Luckily, I’m currently in a research midwifery role so I’m not participating in any manual handling at the moment anyway.

Thank you for your advice on returning to work maybe phased. I will speak to my manager about this.

Physically I do feel able to return to work as it was done laparoscopically and have recovered well from that.

I’m just sceptical about my mental state but I won’t know how I will cope with it until I’m back at work I suppose.

Thank you for your kind words and advice.

X

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Dear Hope44

I too work in maternity, although not as a midwife and I was concerned about how that would affect the me emotionally. I returned to work just over 4 weeks post surgery (had remaimkng tube removed) and generally it’s been ok emotionally/mentally, I think that’s because I switch to work mode. However outside of work is were I still get affected by people talking about pregnancy and/or pregnant people.

I hope it all goes well for you at work and I am glad you have some supportive colleagues around you, that helps a lot.

Hayley xxx

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Dear Hayley,

I agree that you do go into “work mode”. When we were trying to conceive for the past couple of years I did turn off my own emotions. The only time I got upset was when other midwives/colleagues were pregnant.

I totally understand the feeling about talking about pregnancy etc outside of work. I’m still finding that difficult too.

When was your surgery? How are you getting on now?

I agree that having supportive friends/colleagues makes it all so much easier.

Hope you’re getting on ok

Xx

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Hi Hope 44

My surgery was at the beginning of November and I’m just waiting now to see if we are able to have ivf although am slowly coming to terms with the realisation that I probably will not carry my own child.

I’m doing ok post surgery. Still get really upset over the whole situation.

I have a good few people around me in and out of work which truly helps but only to a point as you can’t explain the effect it has on you.

Do you feel ready to go back to work? My GP said 4 weeks was the max she wanted to give me as if I take too long it would make it harder and I kind of agree with that.

Xx

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Hi Hayley,

I think I will be having IVF because they think my other tube is damaged too. I was going through all the fertility tests beforehand and they all came back as normal- so bit confused.

Have you made an appointment with your local fertility team?

I definitely agree with the longer you have off the worse it will be. I think I just need to bite the bullet and go back.

Did you go back to work full time? I’m guessing your work maybe manual too? Did you cope ok?

After your surgery did you get a bad back?

I’ve been experiencing really bad back pains and can’t think what else it could be.

Xx

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Hi Hope44

Yes I asked my GP for referral to fertility team before I found I was pregnant with the EP as have been told since I was 19 my chances of conceiving naturally are slim to none and had fertility treatment in a previous relationship. So had my appointment with the fertility clinic a few weeks after EP. I’ve had all the necessary blood tests etc am just waiting to hear back if we are eligible as I think my FSH level was a little high but as it was my first period since the EP I’m unsure what effect that had on my levels.

Are you going to try again naturally or go straight for ivf?

My work is not manual, I’m admin in antenatal screening across three hospital sites. I did think I’d struggle and the first week was difficult, everyone asking why you were off etc but was ok after that. I think it helped that I only went back for two weeks then had annual leave.

I didn’t have any real side effects from surgery. Have you got a follow up with the hospital post surgery?

Xx

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Hi Hayley,

What did the Drs at the fertility appointment say? If you’ve already been told that conceiving naturally will be difficult and you’ve had an EP then I can’t see why you wouldn’t be offered IVF? It depends on the other tube I imagine. Have you had the dye test for the other tube?

I’ve got my fertility appointment on 8th Feb so I’ll wait until then to see them about trying again/IVF.

I’m scared to try again because if my other tube is the same and is damaged (as the consultant had said before) then it will just happen again or I just won’t get pregnant.

I think I’ll have a word with one of the fertility/miscarriage Drs when I go back to work as a couple of them know what I was going through before.

I’ve got a follow up from the surgery but that’s not until April. I’m not sure how ready I am to go back to work as I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night dreading going back to certain clinics etc because that’s where I first got my pain/bleeding before I knew it was EP. So confused about what to do. Might phone my manager and see what she thinks xx

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Hi hope44

I had the other tube removed in 2012 due to it being damaged, so IVF is my only option now. I’m just waiting for the clinic to phone me since just before Christmas. The wait is just making me feel so anxious and I just want to know one way or the other so I can move forward.

Yeah definitely speak to one of the doctors and asked for their advice. With my EP I was trying to save the tube (as it was the only one I had) but they advised me that removing it would improve my chances of conceiving with IVF.

I wouldn’t go back until you’re ready. I think speaking to your manager is a good idea.

I said to one of the midwives I work with, who knows everything, she should team up with a Dr and start looking into replacement fallopian tubes just like hip replacements. It would help so many people.

I still get extremely emotional on days but I have to look to the future and hope that I will be blessed with a baby of my own.

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Hi Hayley,

Unless your hospital is different and has different policies/procedures, I can’t understand why they wouldn’t offer you ivf. I know mine will offer me IVF however like you say I’m not sure whether they will want to remove my other Fallopian tube or not.

As much as it might be damaged I’m a bit scared having both my tubes out as you say the only way to conceive would definitely be IVF. Money shouldn’t play a part in it but after the free round it is so expensive (which makes me angry!) and I would find the money but it’s just another stress.

They have developed womb replacement so the idea of tube replacement can’t be far away surely.

With work did you feel like you should have had more time off? It’s right how we said the longer we have off the worse it will be but because of Christmas I think I didn’t really have chance to sit and think about things.

I think we both need to think positively about the future. We WILL have babies of our own it’s just taking a longer time to get there than most people.

It will happen!

Xx

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Yes tube replacement will hopefully be a possibility in the future save other women this anguish.

I felt I could have had longer off work but I felt no matter how long I had off it was always going to be hard to go back. I feel I went back at the right time.

One of my colleagues is pregnant and would have only be 5/6 weeks ahead of me so it still is difficulty seeing her growing bump but I am so happy for her.

Yes one day we will ahead our own babies xx