I’ve been trying with my husband for two years. This was our first positive test then found out it was a rubutured ectopic on the left side. To say I’m heartbroken is an understatement. My husband keeps saying that we can try again and I don’t feel I can. Don’t feel like there’s much support out there from NHS. X
Dear Amybutter01,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss, you are so right, it is a heartbreaking experience and my heart truly goes out to you.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it’s treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
Coming to terms with what has happened will take time. You are still in the early weeks of recovery and are physically and emotionally needing to heal.
In time, we can get to a place where feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery. Take each day as it comes. Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away. It maybe of some comfort to know that the chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So thats 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.
You will need space to process what has happened and it can feel isolating. With us here at the Trust, we have been through similar experiences and I can understand how lonely it feels. You have friends here and please do continue to lean on us for as long as you need.
There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn’t our fault.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
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