Feeling down after first failed IVF post ectopic

Hello all

I just wanted to post to say I’m feeling sad because our first attempt at a frozen embryo transfer after my ectopic and salpingectomy in October has been unsuccessful. The ectopic was a frozen embryo transfer as well so we were already dependant on IVF, and I knew that we only had the usual chance of success with IVF, but I just so wanted to be pregnant again!

We’ve actually been amazingly lucky up until now and have a 3 year old daughter from our first ever IVF attempt, plus the ectopic from the second means I can get pregnant from a frozen transfer even though it didn’t end well… but now I feel like it will never work, which I know is silly but if anyone would understand how it feels it would be the good folk of the ectopic pregnancy forums!

We have had two natural cycles so far and have now been advised to move on to medicated, which I really wanted to avoid and which means we won’t be able to try again until May as the drugs have to be ordered 4 weeks in advance.

My sister in law is pregnant, my baby should have been born about 4 weeks before hers and now I feel like I won’t even manage to get pregnant before her baby is born! I should be happy for her but I just want to avoid her and ignore the impending baby…

Anyway I just needed to offload, May isn’t so long to wait and maybe it will work…

Good luck to everyone else trying again xx

Hi,

I have just suffered an ectopic 6 weeks ago and had my right tube removed. I’m due to start IVF next month, i have all my drugs ready. I’m so very nervous and scared. This is such an emotional roller coaster. i don’t know how much more hurt and set backs i can take.

We have been trying for nearly 4 years. I already have a 9 year old son from a previous relationship.

why isn’t things ever simple? life is so cruel. All i want is one more child? A child with my husband… a sibling for my son xx

Natasha

Dear Seroster,

I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and losses. To experience one loss is difficult to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.

We hear from many women who struggle with news about pregnancy from their friends and families. This is very normal and I was the same after my loss. When I had my ectopic pregnancy I had to attend a family function and a close family member was heavily pregnant. I spent the whole day and evening avoiding her as I found it too hard to be near her. It’s what I needed to do to get through the day and have some space and please protect your heart in whatever way you need. This does not make us “bad” people and it is possible to be happy for those around us while grieving for our own loss. Pregnancies and babies can be a very stark reminder of what could have been and it can be painful. Please do be gentle with yourself and you can talk to us whenever you need.

Sending warm hugs and much love,

Karen x


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