Hi, I’ve never posted in a forum before and found it a bit daunting and I don’t really even know what I’m looking for other than to vent a bit.
I’m 2 weeks post surgery and has my left tube removed, I had laparotomy, so I had a bigger cut on my bikini line and I’m finding it really sore still.
At the moment my partner and I are living with my dad as our house is being done up and I’m just really struggling. I’ve been crying today because I’m just down, I miss work and having a purpose, I’m on my own all the time because everyone else working, I’m still in pain and uncomfortable and my dad is the least understanding person in the world. H asked me today why I’m crying and said I don’t have a reason to. .
He told me a week after my surgery I shouldn’t be ‘moping about at home’, suggested i should be at the gym and getting fit, keeps giving me things to do. I’m 26 and not living with him through choice and now I feel a bit trapped.
I’ve read you’re meant to rest following surgery but no one here seems to believe that and I feel like I can’t relax or even sit down for five minutes without an earful. Now my cuts are feeling sore inside and I’m worried I’m over doing it.
Sorry for the long post just feeling really really sad today 
Hi Maria, my situation is very similar to your own.
I took off one week from work and was feeling physically fine so I went back to work the next week. I enjoyed getting out of the house to work because it gave me a distraction, but I am starting to think I should have stayed home longer. At work I don’t talk a lot, I zone out for extended periods of time, and sometimes I start to cry. My attitude and feelings didn’t get better because I got out of the house and did something. My point being that I feel like I am still “moping about” even though I’m at work. And that is ok. There is no correct amount of time it takes to heal after an ectopic pregnancy. Only you will know once you’ve healed physically and emotionally.
You can’t control the comments your dad says, but you are in control of the way they make you feel. Take however long you need to heal.
Thank you for replying. It is helpful to hear from someone who’s feeling similar. Going back after a week must be tricky! I’m lucky that I work in a school and have til September off, so I’m hanging on to that!
Hope you start to heal and feel better soon!
Dear Maria P 92,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with.
You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.
Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
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