So 2 weeks ago tomorrow I had surgery for a ruptured ectopic pregnancy where they also took my left tube.
Although I am nearly healed physically. I’m just in slight discomfort now, emotionally I just can’t stop crying. Although that’s only come on the past 2 days.
I’ve cried at random things on the tele every day since my op but today especially I’ve just been a crying mess over nothing. I feel angry today.
My son who is 2 is amazing and gives me cuddles and kisses all the time and I feel very lucky. But I feel guilty I’m crying all the time around him… I don’t want to see friends or family as I don’t want to talk about it over and over again…
I’m due back to work on Monday and it feels me with dread I’m just going to cry as soon as someone asks if I’m ok. I also work with children a few times in the day and worried I’m going to break down when they ask where I’ve been. (I’ve had 3 weeks off - first for hospital apts and scans when I found out it was ectopic then 2 weeks post surgery)
I don’t really know what responses I’m expecting, I just need to off load I guess as my husband isn’t around this week.
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss.
Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with.
You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.
With regards to returning to work, in general most people can return to work after about six weeks from a physical point of view. However, if your role involves manual handling, we suggest that it would be sensible to have a phased approach, gently building up to the usual extent of activity. I would suggest avoiding a rapid return to strenuous activities as it is important to build up strength after recovery. It is worth bearing in mind that experiencing ectopic pregnancy is a very frightening experience and many women need to take time to help them deal with the psychological/emotional impact of the loss of their baby. Please speak to your GP about having further time off work if required.
Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.
Sending much love,
Karen x
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I had my operation to remove my right Fallopian tube after it ruptured a couple of days before you - 1st Oct. similar to you I’m feeling a lot stronger physically to how I was - although still not able to do more than a light walk in the park for exercise. I went through an emotional wall similar to what you are describing last week. What helped me - and feel free to ignore if you think I’m bonkers! - is listen to really sad and then really angry music for a couple of days. It heightend my emotions and made me cry and rage lots but it has made me a lot calmer since - for now…
I suspect it won’t be a straight road of recovery - some days I can answer questions about what happened in a rationale way, other days I find myself glaring at people and unable to answer.
If your work know what has happened I’d encourage not being afraid to take more days off if you need them to recover emotionally- this is as ,if not more, important than having time to heal physically. It’s only a week or two since mental awareness week so your boss should be tuned into this right now hopefully!
I had emergency surgery on Sept 24th. They took my right fallopian tube in the process. I returned to work on Monday (3 weeks later). However, my discharge paperwork said I can’t lift over 15 lbs for 4 weeks.
It is hard when people want to run up to you, hug you, or talk about it. I can easily talk about the surgery. I don’t like talking about the pregnancy, loss of pregnancy, or any future pregnancies. It’s too painful. I can’t stand being around people that want to show me their newborn family members. It hurts too much. Just ask people to give you space and be understanding. If you need extra time, call your doctor. My doctor gave me an extra week (was originally told 1-2 weeks before returning to work). I needed it for my mental and Emotional state.
I’ve got another 2 weeks off work which I think will help mentally not having that pressure there.
I might try that with the music. Maybe that release would be good. I had 2 days of no crying. Massive difference to how I have been then yesterday was a sore point again being out and everywhere I saw was pregnant women. I know that will be hard and will eventually fade.
Thank you all again. It was reassuring to hear all of your replies and I wish you positivity and healing through your process of this all too xx