Hi H91,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
When we experience an ectopic pregnancy, we are suddenly faced with a life-threatening emergency and its treatment, a reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal; putting them together is immense, and your feelings are completely normal.
It does not matter if the pregnancy was planned or not; there is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally, and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies, but we can learn to accept what has happened and, crucially, understand that it wasn’t our fault.
You are still in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery, which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions; all of this will take time to come to terms with.
You should still take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time, and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual, and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body’s signals, and pain and feeling tired are your body’s signs to tell you to rest.
Journaling and talking are both valuable ways to process this experience. There is new research evidence that PTSD is also an outcome of suffering an ectopic pregnancy. We also operate a helpline service if you would ever like the opportunity to speak with someone who has been through a similar experience, please feel free to call. Details are below. Also, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help, and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services. The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes for free. You can find your local centre at: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
No matter what, we are here for you whenever you need us. Please know you are not alone and take all the time you need to look after yourself and recover. We are here for you whenever you want to talk.
With good wishes,
Michele
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
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