Hi Ely,
My heart goes out to you. You have been through so much. This ectopic pregnancy after all of your efforts will seem incredibly unfair. You have suffered physical and emotional trauma and these are still early days in your recovery. It’s so important to be kind to yourself right now and focus on your healing. I’m glad you have found these boards as each one of us, unfortunately, is connected by this experience.
Many women experience a mix of feelings and this can include grief, hurt at loss and anger. Trying not to blame yourself is important, as it is no fault of yours, and nothing sadly, could have been done from stopping the ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage from happening. Often the precise reason for an ectopic pregnancy may never be known. Sadly there is nothing that can be done to guarantee that it will never happen again and it isn’t because of something you did or didn’t do. Sometimes these feelings are hard to communicate with others, and for that reason, we at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can help the healing process.
We operate a helpline service, and there’s no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely, and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too if you prefer that route.
Also, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help, and this can include referrals for “talking therapies” or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services. The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
No matter what, we are here for you whenever you need. Please know you are not alone and take all the time you need to look after yourself and recover. We are here for you whenever you want to talk.
With good wishes,
Michele
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
Let loved ones know you are thinking of them and support the important work that we do: The EPT online shop has traditional Christmas cards or, if you prefer, the option to donate instead by giving what you would have spent on cards and postage.
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available on our website.
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list.
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team