I’m sending this message because this time last year I had just been admitted to hospital with an ectopic pregnancy. I was waiting for surgery but as I was stable I wasn’t a priority. Just over 24 hrs later I lost my right tube and baby (and part of my sanity!!).
It was hell. Physically i was fine and back to work a few days later (I’m self employed, and wasn’t allowed any sick pay, screw you hmrc!!) . I had a 2 year old and I had no choice but to get on with it. Mentally I was a mess!! I would search the internet looking for positive story’s, and any sort of explanation as to why this happened. I felt like I was loosing the plot. My husband was relieved that I was ok physically so his attitude was to forget and move on.
I made a little plan to protect my remaining tube so I would do a pregnancy test each month just before period so if the same was to happen again I could hopefully avoid surgery. So after 4 months I had a positive test! I was so scared and can honestly say that getting pregnant again did not fix the issues and insecurities I had. I hated the first few weeks. I was waiting for something to go wrong. I started to bleed at 8 weeks and thought this is it, but all was ok.
I’m sitting here now with the most perfect little boy who is a week old and I can not believe the contrast between this time last year and right now! I wouldn’t relive the last year for a million pounds!
I felt so sad when I left hospital with my new son last week as the maternity ward is across from the early pregnancy unit. I feel so sad for anyone who is going through what I went through then. Please don’t be afraid to cry, ask for help or just admit you feel rubbish!
Last year all I wanted was to read a positive story, and now I feel as if I am it! I am the luckiest woman in the world. Please take care of yourselfs ladies, might not always feel like it but it will get better xx