Couldn’t remember the exact date, knew it was end Feb/early March the bleeding, the investigations, a few nights in hospital being observed (and starved) til they finally decided to go in and have a look. Curiosity got the better of me and I had a look through my paperwork and found my discharge note so I know the date now.
A shock to the system the whole experience. I was 23, I think up until that point I’d had one smear test! A fortnight of internal scans (one afternoon I got 3 with 3 different doctors!), various other probing, get your knickers off we’ve seen it all before, had never even been in hospital to visit anyone let alone stay in it in a ward full of old ladies in obvious pain, how naive and terrified I was about everything!
I think it was my 3rd night in hospital being observed, the decision had been made at 3am that I would be going into surgery at 7am. Nobody knew, I didn’t want to call anyone at 3 in the morning and then it was all pretty rushed, sign this form, put this gown on, do this, do that and I never got the chance.
I don’t know if you remember that TV program, I think it was called The Chair (?) with John McEnroe as host, where the contestents were put through various ordeals while their heart rate was monitored. They had to try keep calm and I guess the winner was whoever managed to keep their heart rate lowest or something. Anyway, that’s what I was thinking about while on the trolley rigged up to the monitors for what seemed like an eternity because the anaesthetist was running late. I didn’t do very well, I don’t think I would have won any prizes but I managed to just about hold myself together. I’ve discovered that lying flat on my back surrounded by strangers buzzing about, is not my forte.
Quite simply the loneliest, scariest experience of my life, nothing since has come close, I will never ever forget it. 2 subsequent pregnancy losses, more trips to Ward 42, more undignified probing and another operation. I will not be going back to Ward 42 ever again. I’ve had quite enough thanks.